The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humour lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
Christmas shopping is so hard when your personality is like you know who would love this?? Me
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) December 3, 2023
It’s so funny that one of Santa’s reindeer is named Vixen. He’s like “and this…is the sexy one.”
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) December 3, 2023
Does UPS know that we don’t care when the “label was created?”
— Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny) December 7, 2023
I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking if we're eating on our date so I know whether or not to have a snack beforehand.
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) December 3, 2023
Blue cross AND blue shield? seems a bit excessive
— abby govindan (@abbygov) December 4, 2023
ur really gonna act like that? when santa claus is literally coming to town
— 💗 (@urfaveluvr) December 4, 2023
unfortunately when i try christmas shopping i always end up finding things for myself like girl i have never needed anything more than i need this pic.twitter.com/tMBxPFP2AX
— erica 🦎 (@repuslayytion) December 2, 2023
i’m actually a very self aware person i just like to do stuff for the plot sometimes
— ambreia. (@rhyamb) December 7, 2023
huge news for my buddy steve who always likes her pictures on instagram https://t.co/T8kR1CPaIT
— cinnamon bun (@notsofiacoppola) December 4, 2023
i love the moon because we both look bad in photos
— trash jones (@jzux) December 3, 2023
sure this time of year brings on seasonal depression but you also have an increased likelihood of the insurmountable high of gliding your scissors perfectly through the wrapping paper
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) December 5, 2023
What I mentally picture when anyone says “rizz” pic.twitter.com/FBG6eqIIdt
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) December 6, 2023
Just fyi to capitalism, my dad does not drink beer OR play golf and I’d still like to get him a Christmas present
— Hannah Rose 🥀 (@hanalyst) December 5, 2023
I love when the cat and I are in bed both looking at my phone…I should get her a phone
— little special™ (@dollbunyan) December 3, 2023
nice unhealthy coping mechanism did you get it from your mom
— clare (@sadderlizards) December 4, 2023
I saw an article about someone who spends only $123 a month on groceries (which is one week for most people, under current inflation) with "one trick," and the trick was "make a grocery list."
— Heidi N. Moore (@moorehn) December 4, 2023
sorry yeah I will go to sleep I just need to check every single website
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) December 4, 2023
hate thrifting with a bitch who taps out after 15 minutes... get your ass up and check the men's jacket aisle.
— megan (@chismosavirus) December 5, 2023
wearing glasses to the library feels like wearing a band's t shirt to their concert
— amelia elizalde (@ameliaelizalde) December 5, 2023
very busy please dont call or text pic.twitter.com/KpZExWKnib
— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) December 6, 2023
heard secondhand that my friend’s wife is obsessed with bats. for years I’ve been sending her cute/funny bat content (+ as a result my algo serves a lot of it) and she always responds “❤️” or “omg” or whatever. today I learned that it was a different friend’s wife who loves bats
— 🧃you or someone you love🧃 (@hannahmsays) December 5, 2023
this is what airbnb took from us pic.twitter.com/FzWG91a6aj
— Sarah Dutcher (@itssarahdutcher) December 5, 2023
men are like nooo that’s my emotional support mushy flat yellow stained pillow
— limp brittzkit (@Brittymigs) December 5, 2023
Can’t believe this is what my $2 shein order be going through https://t.co/HqCiumVObJ
— Ghissy (@0Ghissy2) December 5, 2023
Yearly reminder that you can try to poke holes in the movie Home Alone but it’s a perfectly constructed plot. Any plot hole you think you’ve discovered is, in fact, explained in the movie.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) December 5, 2023
panera’s like “yeah our lemonade’s charged……..with murder”
— chase (@_chase_____) December 8, 2023
we moved on too quickly from riptide by vance joy. i know it took like 4 years of it being on the charts for us to move on but it was too quick
— trish (@ULTRAGLOSS) December 5, 2023
me after running one (1) errand pic.twitter.com/jCBhSfG9OC
— emma 🍅🪩 (@whenemmafalls) December 6, 2023
Holy infant so tender and mild, so succulent and flavorsome, so juicy and melt-in-the-mouth
— Pru (@prufrockluvsong) December 6, 2023
yeah i’ll be okay as long as i don’t do any more thinking from here on out
— clare (@sadderlizards) December 3, 2023
so the internet is largely bad, the real world also not great rn, where am I supposed to hang out, my own mind??? The worst of the three???
— danielle weisberg for hire (@danielleweisber) December 6, 2023