The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humour lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day
— Stone Cold Jane Austen (@AbbyHiggs) February 13, 2024
I do the NYT's Connections every morning and then spend the rest of the day hating myself because I didn't realize those four names were all doomed whaling ships built in 1832.
— Jelisa Castrodale (@gordonshumway) February 14, 2024
It’s kinda crazy that now we’re old enough for my friends to be holding the serious roles lmao like girl how you the director of marketing you mad grown
— Sade (@_munchkinn) February 13, 2024
My parents have been married 60 years. My mom told me she has been giving my dad the same Valentine’s Day card for TWENTY years. And the beauty is he has no idea. He reads it in its entirety every year. And then she puts it back in a drawer for next year. Freaking genius.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) February 13, 2024
This is how I watch Great British Bake Off pic.twitter.com/T2HaTrGRaV
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) February 12, 2024
The first few notes of Yeah are like sleeper agent trigger words that activate older millennials
— Amy A (@lolennui) February 12, 2024
I consider myself reasonably intelligent but I cannot process How to Play Complex Board Games. You all sound like, "and then if you roll a level-up glitter cabbage you get 6.5 ergometric points, which can be used every 4th turn as long as no one has zorped the Cones of Dunshire"
— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) February 13, 2024
me after crying for six hours: https://t.co/QwM1V3z90S
— Jenni (@hashjenni) February 13, 2024
I hate how I am a "I have an appointment at 4pm so I can't do anything all day" type of person
— Invis🧜♀️ (@invis4yo) February 13, 2024
I don’t believe Taylor/Travis is a PR relationship but I do believe they got together in a Princess Diaries 2 eligible bachelor slideshow way and she was like yeah he seems hot and fun and he was like yay!!! Neat 😎
— danielle weisberg for hire (@danielleweisber) February 12, 2024
i was crazy and i was not free pic.twitter.com/gGMneg3X5O
— alisa (@squirtstain) February 13, 2024
This is what Girls really talk about pic.twitter.com/d55vtJp54U
— michaela okland (@MichaelaOkla) February 11, 2024
why is that sometimes eggs are the most delectable meal you’ve ever had in your life and then randomly one day they’re an abomination and you have to choke them down like you’re being force-fed
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) February 12, 2024
the landlord painting over a moth on my bedroom wall before I move in pic.twitter.com/cmvFehqyL3
— first name lexi (@lexishaye_) February 13, 2024
Fashion week is so funny the most beautiful girl you know is posting a pic like "thank you cetaphil 💌 what a beautiful night 🫶🏽"
— raina (@quakerraina) February 11, 2024
why tf would you wanna smell “the struggle is real” in your house https://t.co/ITpib8XjwL
— kira 👾 (@kirawontmiss) February 12, 2024
You can’t take away snow days and make them remote learning days. Snow days aren’t about learning. If god wanted the children to learn, he wouldn’t have made it snow.
— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) February 13, 2024
Dolly Parton should open a Trader Joe’s type store and call it Traitor Jolene’s.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) February 12, 2024
there should be an opposite of valentine’s day where you post instagram photos of your enemy
— trash jones (@jzux) February 14, 2024
Everyone when Tom Brady retires: "Finally. I'm so sick of watching the same team win over and over again. It's our turn now."
— Lauren (@dogmomRN23) February 12, 2024
Patrick Mahomes: pic.twitter.com/YcOZJEZjsl
wish i’d been a wicked theater kid (popular) instead of a spring awakening theater kid (depressed)
— ashley ray🍦ice cream money out 3/1 (@theashleyray) February 12, 2024
true crime documentary narrator: how did this missing persons case go unsolved for more than 20 years?
— Janel Comeau (@VeryBadLlama) February 15, 2024
police officer: yeah so the family reported their daughter missing and then we told them that she was probably fine and didn't look for her at all
FINALLY FOUND MISS MARY MAC pic.twitter.com/roJnMGsHqm
— Mel ✨💜♍️ (@AmorasQueen) February 11, 2024
I do love it when pregnancy announcement posts show the couple holding up a positive test. “We’re having a baby, here’s a stick full of my piss 💕”
— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) February 14, 2024
British people ate with “What’s all this then?!”
— Grip Bayless (@talleyberrybaby) February 15, 2024
BECAUSE NO REALLY, WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN???????????
Me: I hate country music
— 💍Prostitution Whore💍 (@Pr0sttti0nWh0re) February 12, 2024
Beyoncé: *drops two country songs*
Me: pic.twitter.com/5VSJb0zLg3
just had a bad flashback to Valentine’s Day at my high school. you could buy roses to send to people & they’d be delivered during class, so we all got to watch the popular girls get eight while we just sat there!
— Alicia A-Z, PhD, she/her (@aliciaandrz) February 13, 2024
but I’m a writer now so I’m glad I learned about rejection early.
when your popular friend runs into someone they know pic.twitter.com/PasUhR8f5P
— Invis🧜♀️ (@invis4yo) February 15, 2024