The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humour lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
It was the best of times (dipping bread into soup) it was the worst of times (finishing the bread and then being stuck with just soup)
— Sophie Hall (@SophLouiseHall) January 10, 2024
me: what’s the last episode of this show that I watched
— katie (@katefeetie) January 10, 2024
hulu: I don’t see how that’s any of your business
We’ve come full circle pic.twitter.com/Jq0AjAQBZ7
— c a i t l i n (@hello__caitlin) January 10, 2024
pay attention to detail? you mean the thing the devil is literally in? no thanks
— Jenna SaysQuoi (@jennasaysquoi) January 8, 2024
A bath has everything: warmth, nudity, sitting down
— Audrey Kaufman (@KaufmanAudrey) January 8, 2024
Because of the bad weather yall are free to —
— “Valencia, I love you!” - Beyoncé (@_veelencia) January 9, 2024
Me: pic.twitter.com/bKIkZQVUmr
Me: my account says I'm eligible for an upgrade
— Hannah Posts (@HannahPosted) January 9, 2024
Verizon store employee: yeah so what that means is ur allowed to buy a new phone
Someone on Reddit said they think Selena Gomez thinks a social media break is when you close the app and I think that's exactly right
— Kat Tenbarge (@kattenbarge) January 10, 2024
when i use the word unbeknownst in a email pic.twitter.com/mMGhi7zWRJ
— erika ✨ (@yeeeerika) January 11, 2024
(at my neighbor’s door) i had a bad dream can i sleep in your bed with you tonight
— katie (@skatie420) January 11, 2024
Trying to find nicer ways to tell people I think they’re overthinking something pic.twitter.com/rZqnKX084Z
— maddie, hot dog enthusiast (@damnitmadeline) January 10, 2024
my bf had a bad experience getting a sub the other day where they put an ungodly amount of mayo on his sandwich and then that night he was talking in his sleep like “that’s plenty…. that enough may—“ homie was having stress dreams about mayo
— neanderthalya (@thalyamk) January 8, 2024
i suck so bad at sexting im like "that can be arranged"
— perfect angel girl (@coochiegurl420) January 6, 2024
When I fuck up the poached egg pic.twitter.com/AQBG6qqG8O
— Ruby Miles (@mubyriles) January 9, 2024
i love airplanes because every few years they introduce a new, worse ticket option. like why am i booking Loser Economy where you board 5 minutes after the plane leaves and your seat is the floor
— trash jones (@jzux) January 7, 2024
So many people using words like “serve,” “slay,” and “mother” when there is only one person who has, in fact, served for slaying her mother. pic.twitter.com/yvD4eFXici
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) January 9, 2024
fucking annoying how many things too shall pass
— steph mccann (@steph_mcca) January 8, 2024
(to my friend who just gave me an inch) Hey brother. No worries if not but do you happen to have a mile,
— April Clark (@autogynefiles) January 10, 2024
you don't need to go to harvard for that https://t.co/a0BzWxXoUU
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) January 9, 2024
sisyphus when he’s allowed to work from home pic.twitter.com/PowcgYUp29
— 𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖗𝖚𝖑𝖊 (@valkalrie) January 8, 2024
I’m at a grocery store that is playing thunderstorm sound effects during the vegetable mist shower. This is the most beautiful experience in the world.
— cinnamon bun (@notsofiacoppola) January 7, 2024
my dad ate burgers with two krispy kreme donuts as the buns but suddenly his body was a temple when it came to the covid vax
— bri love (@mclovenxoxo) January 6, 2024
real pic.twitter.com/1Ea3iD2ldy
— Invis🧜♀️ (@invis4yo) January 10, 2024
I was telling my mom sometimes I don’t answer calls after work bc I cannot listen to one more person talking. She said that’s how she felt when she would come home from work when I was little & I’d talk her ear off. I told her that’s why I don’t have kids & we laughed & laughed.
— Neo (@TheNeoMosala) January 10, 2024
Jealous of everyone who gets drunk and does normal things like online shop. Tell me why I just got this email pic.twitter.com/z5APgB78P8
— eliza (@elizamclamb) January 7, 2024
Turnitin has carefully noted that it thinks a student has submitted an essay that is 11 per cent plagiarised. It has come to this figure by highlighting every time they have used the word "this".
— Dr Charlotte Lydia Riley (@lottelydia) January 10, 2024
imagine if they put these on a cruise ship https://t.co/ug0x5OBcAV
— kira 👾 (@kirawontmiss) January 9, 2024
me: hey how do I move this bullet point over
— meghan (@deloisivete) January 10, 2024
internet: here's a video about how to do it
me: can you just tell me in like 2 sentences
internet: WATCH A VIDEO