The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
used to work at a call centre, and the substitutes ppl use when they don’t know the phonetic alphabet are so funny. why did this man say C for Czechoslovakia
— yasmin (@ycsm1n) July 18, 2023
the summer i turned pretty is relatable if you were flirtily thrown into pools by boys as a teen & frankly that is a corner of the sky i will never know
— Anne Sundell (@anne_sundell) July 20, 2023
Hearing disturbing rumors that some of these protestors on the picket line are professional actors
— Amy (@lolennui) July 18, 2023
While we’re worrying about AI, the bollards are planning a global revolution pic.twitter.com/grhb3kYGPr
— Helen Ingram (@drhingram) July 15, 2023
got home last night to my sweet, thoughtful boyfriend surprising me with a fresh batch of brownies. ate a few then left them in the kitchen for an hour and came back to this pic.twitter.com/ZlftdJPGzP
— Pastrami Mommy (@Ewelannawhite) July 19, 2023
barbenheimer is the closest we’ve come to having school spirit week as adults
— kelsey weekman (@kelsaywhat) July 18, 2023
The man that invented the Ferris wheel never met the man that invented the merry go round.
— mariana Z (@mariana057) July 19, 2023
They traveled in different circles.
So humiliating when I go get ice cream with people who order flavors like Earl Gray or Lavender or Lemon and then my greedy ass orders like Chocolate Chipper Double Dipper Brownie Explosion Landslide
— Meg (@megannn_lynne) July 19, 2023
made her look pro-brexit lol https://t.co/5QMiAmPaWe
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) July 19, 2023
Me, as a kid: I’m not going to grow up to be a boring adult.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 19, 2023
Me, as an adult: *has a favorite tree I like looking at on my way to work*
My therapist had no idea there was a Barbie movie coming out. She said it’s live action? I said yeah. She said this year?
— ellory smith (@ellorysmith) July 19, 2023
“Soft launch” this “hard launch” that, back in my day if you were even slightly interested in someone you’d post full photos of them on main for mcm or wcw
— earth tones, with a vest (@hatedbyvegans) July 15, 2023
My favorite thing in TV shows is when they show actual childhood photos of the actor because you know the actor had to ask their mom if they had any old photos of them for their TV show and you know she was so excited to dig up her favorite ones for everyone to see her baby on TV
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) July 20, 2023
Pete Davidson has the opportunity to do the funniest possible thing https://t.co/iGk7tx2LLl
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) July 17, 2023
Everybody's talking about girl dinner, but nobody's talking about grandpa breakfast (you drink black coffee and complain with 2-3 friends)
— Krista Doyle (@kristakdoyle) July 20, 2023
Please let the strike end so writers can get back to writing scripts instead of 27-tweet threads to make every little point.
— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) July 20, 2023
the way men love vanilla perfumes is so funny to me? if u smell like a sugar cookie every man in a 10 mile radius will want to kiss you. such simple creatures, so easy to please
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) July 17, 2023
a man invited me to the Barbie movie…? on opening night? as if I would watch that movie for the first time in the presence of The Other Kind
— 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 (@talliesinyoung) July 20, 2023
Received a “Save the Date” for a friend’s wedding in Chicago, followed (about 2 wks later) by an “Un-save the Date” explaining that they had decided to have a smaller ceremony with only family & close friends and I am no longer invited.
— Sheila Liming (@seeshespeak) July 17, 2023
thinking about this bar I worked at in college like yeah no wonder they went out of business lmao pic.twitter.com/trVM4yjMm8
— jodie (@jodieegrace) July 17, 2023
The boys must have been absolutely buzzing when The Boys Are Back In Town came out. Men’s mental health at an all time high.
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) July 20, 2023
life pro tip: one time someone said my own joke louder than me and everyone laughed but as my act of revenge i started saying the joke was kind of problematic n everyone started agreeing and turned on the joke thief
— Aoife 🐝 Bee 🏳️⚧️ (@Aoife_Bee_) July 20, 2023
Whoever runs the scoreboard at Coors Field is NOT OKAY. pic.twitter.com/lg5jcoIrDs
— Suz Now (Suzie's Version) (Eras Tour 7/15 version) (@TheSuzieHunter) July 19, 2023
I watched my first ever mission impossible yesterday and I am so fascinated by these movies . Ethan is forced to chose between his long term friend/girlfriend (?) and this random woman and he’s like the choice is impossible… all women are queens… and somehow I believe him??
— ethel KENiac (@evemmore) July 18, 2023
Lmao okay this is funny pic.twitter.com/635cW7Tsaa
— Aliah Sheffield (@AliahSheffield) July 17, 2023
my best friend and i made a pact that if we’re both still single when we’re 40 we will go on a horrifying nationwide crime spree
— trash jones (@jzux) July 20, 2023
3rd base is when i have a panic attack in front of you
— limp brittzkit (@Brittymigs) July 20, 2023
What’s a girl supposed to do with her life when she’s blessed with a certain je ne sais quoi but no discernible practical skills… what do I do with this star power
— youngest known hag (@glamdemon2004) July 21, 2023
sorry i ruined the vibe by bringing up logistics until the plan was fully formed and feasible
— thrillhouse (@nickykens) July 20, 2023