The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humour lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this weekโs great tweets from women, and then visit our โFunniest Tweets From Womenโ page for past roundups.
the women's bathroom at a club is the closest we'll ever get to barbie world
— gen๐ฅ (@genmxn) April 1, 2024
I hate when people start a meeting with โeveryone having a good day?โ Yeah Tina, Iโm at work, on a Teams meeting, and Iโm on cameraโฆdoesnโt get better than this.
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) April 4, 2024
The serving size for cereal should be "until you stop feeling sad".
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) April 4, 2024
when i was like 5 my best friendโs and my favorite game to play was โmary kate and ashleyโ which was basically just hanging out like normal but calling each other mary kate and ashley
— kelpy ๐ (@kelseybuckles) April 3, 2024
rain sound apps (that i used to fall asleep) were forever ruined for me the day i discovered that audio engineers tend to record frying chicken to recreate the sound of rain
— โpaulaโ (@paularambles) April 4, 2024
she looks like they just told her https://t.co/Kcvjwstkbw
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) April 2, 2024
when people say โnothing tastes as good as skinny feelsโ itโs like okโฆ.weird way to admit youโve never had crรจme brรปlรฉe
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) March 30, 2024
Super wealthy people should not be allowed to be Mets fans - it tricks them into thinking they are victims.
— Eliza Skinner (@elizaskinner) April 4, 2024
fell for another phishing scam at work pic.twitter.com/31P25MOh9M
— oatmeal influencer (@acechhh) April 3, 2024
Beyoncรฉ need to start paying some bills around this mf since she wanna tour so bad WHERE AM I GONE GET THE MONEY FROM HORSE LADY????
— Grip Bayless (@talleyberrybaby) April 4, 2024
{guy pitching Chuck E Cheese} okay so itโs a giant rat and the 8 year olds are gonna gamble
— Brunette Bohemian (@Jane_Doe82) April 1, 2024
murder victims are always described as the kind of person who "lights up a room" so for my own safety i'm going to start darkening every room i enter, just fully commit to a gloomy, ominous presence.
— erin chack (@ErinChack) April 3, 2024
universe: you deserve a break
— eLeni (@eleniZarro) April 4, 2024
me: wow thanks
universe: *winks*
me: *tumbles down the stairs*
Just know, if we are having a conversation, I am thinking about the conjoined twins being married to that one guy and how it all works
— Lazor (@Lazor2828) April 4, 2024
u invest in stocks? u mean ur passenger princessing the economy??
— van haley (@vanhaley_yt) April 4, 2024
Eye doctor: how many hours per day do you spend working at the computer?
— Ginny Hogan (@ginnyhogan_) April 1, 2024
Me: one or two
Doctor: thatโs great! Most of my clients are at their computers all day
Me: oh, Iโm on my computer 14 hours a day. But very few working.
Not to brag, but I am 100% divorce material.
— Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe) April 4, 2024
โhe is risen! glory be to godโ being posted to their instagram stories by the meanest girls youโve ever met
— maha (@mahaaaay) March 31, 2024
I can't get into anything I have a meeting in 3 hours
— ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ป ๐๐น๐๐ธ๐ฒ (@im_all_id) April 4, 2024
every single dude who thinks theyโre these alpha gurus about women look like thumbs. it seems to be some kind of disease.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) March 31, 2024
how it feels to say โper my last emailโ pic.twitter.com/AaLyHYHStn
— trish (@ULTRAGLOSS) April 2, 2024
The thing about concealer
— Amelia Ritthaler (@ameliaritt) March 31, 2024
Is itโs never going to be what you want & it will always cost $32
they should invent a man who knows how to get over his first girlfriend
— yap god (@malalaormalaika) April 3, 2024
just a lil something to take the edge off pic.twitter.com/siDwGhw2ZA
— ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ โญ ๐ ๐ท๐ด๐ /๐ ๐ท๐ด๐ผ (@crustelf) April 3, 2024
There is nothing that makes me question my entire being quite as much as someone casually saying "you're supposed to deep clean [this object/household thing] regularly" and it's something I've never cleaned at more than a surface level, if at all, in my whole life
— Sarah Hollowell ๐ฆ (@sarahhollowell) April 4, 2024
oh we are so doomed pic.twitter.com/m5BA1jhzWw
— trash jones (@jzux) April 3, 2024
whole foods but i can only afford half foods in this economy.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) April 1, 2024
Noam Chomsky is a crazy name like you sound hungry as fuck
— laila (@surroundedheads) April 2, 2024
Iโm still getting used to being a girlfriend again. Being asked what I want for dinner continues to beat my ass. I donโt know! Perpetual stew?? Primordial soup??
— cinnamon bun (@notsofiacoppola) March 31, 2024
me: I just don't have the mental energy to keep trying to fix you
— meghan (@deloisivete) April 3, 2024
box of plastic wrap:
I hate pending transactions. Please, just take the money.
— AKOSS ๐ฆ (@Akossxo) April 2, 2024
I got my dog a year ago now and she still feels brand new and amazing and I am so happy to see her every day. Do they make romantic relationships like this?
— nice things I say to myself (@meantomyself) April 2, 2024
Always a bridesmaid, never a bride is my daily affirmation
— Natalie Would (@_NatalieWould) April 2, 2024