The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humour lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
I love how Dyson’s whole thing is just Air. Like yeah we make the things that suck it in with the dust. And also the things that blow it out for your hair. And also for your hands in the public restroom. Fuck with me
— eliza (@elizamclamb) October 18, 2023
every sunday night i feel like bella in her depression chair in new moon
— trish (@ULTRAGLOSS) October 16, 2023
after u do your laundry u should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. no charge
— chase (@_chase_____) October 17, 2023
I just spent $450 on new bedding so yeah, I guess you could say I'm a woman in my mid-thirties.
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) October 15, 2023
Not to be a Halloween Scrooge but I don’t like that everyone uses stencils to carve their pumpkins now. Jack-o-lanterns are supposed to be extremely unimpressive. You should have a vision in your head and then not be able to execute it. That’s what Halloween is all about.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) October 17, 2023
Sue Sylvester on her way to destroy the Glee club. https://t.co/udNzbX3Kkm
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) October 16, 2023
Does THE PROCESS know I’m trusting it???????
— Felon Degeneres (@_alyssssssac) October 14, 2023
Working In Office is soooo degrading why am I biking 3 miles in slacks at 8 am with a jar of beef stew in my backpack
— manic pixie cheese curd, MPH (@tildawhirl) October 17, 2023
please look at these language options for my telehealth appointment lol pic.twitter.com/2DyuVoaDdz
— Kylie Robison (@kyliebytes) October 18, 2023
Oh my god y’all. I watched a woman attempt to go through airport security with ten fully inflated helium birthday balloons. She kept shoving them into the conveyor belt to the scanner but they just kept popping back out like a cartoon. Yes this happened in florida.
— ditch pony (@molly7anne) October 18, 2023
sorry i can’t hang out i have to eat this pickle while leaning over the sink
— lauren badillo milici (@motelsiren) October 17, 2023
we must invest in some diaries for this family ; will you help me https://t.co/g0m0o1WQyG
— ashley ray (@theashleyray) October 15, 2023
a friend-in-law is one of your best friends' best friends who you've met maybe 4 times but you know everything about their job, relationships, career, family, shame, dreams, medical history etc
— Madeleine Aggeler (@mmaggeler) October 18, 2023
Someone asked to share my table at a coffee shop and then asked me to leave the table because they have a meeting??? Am I in an episode of Seinfeld??
— Elizabeth Goodspeed (@domesticetch) October 19, 2023
First date idea: we read Britney Spears’ entire memoir together in silence
— Heben Nigatu (@hebennigatu) October 17, 2023
TBH more psychics should do this https://t.co/hhur35aguh
— Kylie Brakeman (@deadeyebrakeman) October 16, 2023
Be kind. Everyone is going through something. Heartache. Financial stress. Their bananas ripened too quickly. Having the song from the Jardiance commercial stuck in their head because it’s aired 5 million times a day.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) October 16, 2023
We all have our battles to fight.
call me humpty dumpty the way I am having a great fall
— trash jones (@jzux) October 15, 2023
me trying to explain my remote job pic.twitter.com/euPkQx0v6k
— Maggie? Winters? (@saggiesplinters) October 17, 2023
The consequences gotta be my top 3 least favorite part of my actions
— callie actually (@eggshellfriend) October 14, 2023
this box has been sitting in my hallway for *six weeks* and my husband has not asked me what it is, why I haven’t opened it, or if I should ever plan on moving it and this is what it’s like when both partners have ADHD. pic.twitter.com/NMB0ZJQlku
— emily (@emilykmay) October 14, 2023
I wasn’t born yesterday is such a perfect retort because it lets people know you’re not an idiot while also dunking on new born babies for being stupid
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) October 19, 2023
things my kitten has done in the last 3 minutes:
— Sydney (@sydneyelainexo) October 16, 2023
-galloped across my house full speed like a miniature pony on crack
-stole a french fry from me
-hung from the curtains and swung like miley cyrus in that music video
$23 a month for nextlix?? Rather use that on a spirit flight to Detroit. See what tubi filming live and in the flesh.
— outshallah🤲🏾 (@Beebz05) October 18, 2023
Not mine https://t.co/M91JOtbyhb
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) October 15, 2023
oomf thought the fall of house of usher was a documentary about usher
— Sabrina Brier (@sabrinabrier) October 19, 2023
sorry boss, got distracted by the web shop selling mini gas masks for calico critters. won’t happen again pic.twitter.com/H0ZMB88ZYb
— pris (@pwiscila) October 18, 2023
My in laws are visiting and I feel like my mother in law is much too smug for someone who’s son I’m still raising.
— Tori Fletcher (@hellotorifletch) October 15, 2023