Final moments of pregnancy....yeah I think we need to be honest!
When you are nearing the 40 week mark and desperately praying for your small human to start the evacuation process... there is nothing that feels glamorous about being swollen, tired and stretched.
I ran into a friend yesterday who is due to give birth in seven days.
When I saw her only a week ago, she WAS glowing, she was still loving the process, the changes in her body and excited about the final weeks of carrying this little person inside of her.
Now on the home stretch and knowing that labour could realistically take hold at any moment - she was well and truly over it. A huge change in a short time frame... but the body sure does know how to push itself in the lead up to labour doesn't it?
Cue the flash back!
I reflect on my pregnancy now and I can almost feel my stomach start to tighten at the thought of how it felt being overdue. The days that I spent silently begging for the labour to start.
I was honestly to the point of being terrified that my stomach was going to split open at any moment - I did not believe that there was even space for one more millimetre of growth.
My stomach was itchy, dry and I bet that I rubbed at least five litres of coconut oil on it in the final week before my daughter landed earth side.
I didn't realise how quickly it would go from relatively smooth sailing to BAM -my cheeks filled with fluid, my toes looked like tiny sausages and and it felt hard to breathe.
My nipples were dripping, I was uncomfortable 24 hours of the day and I had given up on all attempts of trying to make myself look presentable for the general population.
Every time she moved, coughed, rolled around or decided to be selfish and stretch all limbs at once - it took the wind out of me. I wanted to sit down, rest, relax BUT at the same time I had to stay busy otherwise I'd go crazy waiting for her to arrive.
I started to worry that there was something wrong with me because everything I'd read told me that I'd be glowing and full of joy waiting to meet my little one.
I didn't feel like that at all - I was done. I wanted to tap out of this whole pregnancy gig and convinced myself that I would rather cop labour then put up with being uncomfortable any longer.
I felt bad that I wasn't enjoying the process any more, I was guilty of being impatient and I struggled to believe anyone who told me I was looking great.
Sure I was incredibly excited to meet my daughter... hence the impatience... but by feeling like I just wanted to hurry it all up - did that mean I was a bad mum? HELL NO!
It just meant i was sick of feeling like Jabba the Hut and I wanted to get this show on the road already... I had a human to meet and a body to deflate so I didn't feel like a beach ball walking around anymore.
I want to make sure all mothers know that it's absolutely and one hundred percent okay not to feel great in the final days!
It doesnt make you a bad mother - it makes you a raw.
You don't have to tell everyone you are still loving it if you aren't.
You don't have to tell everyone you feel amazing if you don't
You don't have to tell everyone that you feel so beautiful if you feel like Jabba the Hut.
You can feel however you want to feel at that point in time and no-one can tell you otherwise....just feel what you feel!
In hindsight - that time does actually fly by and then begins a whole new adventure where you learn to give up more of yourself to this tiny person.
Your body will do even more incredible things.
Once you experience labour you will come out the other side so appreciative of what your body did to prepare you for that moment, you will be glad it stretched, you will have a better understanding of how it distorted to make way and you will be relieved that it is as powerful as what it is.
PLUS you will wake up the day after your labour feeling sore, but not like a balloon - thats a win right?