Theresa May Cardboard Cutout On Amazon Prompts Some Hilarious Reviews

'As effigies go this burns very well. Highly recommended.'

As politicians across the country canvas entire towns, project pithy soundbites onto social media and try to rally the masses and secure their vote, the real battle for the General Election is being fought on Amazon.

Life-sized cardboard cutouts of Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn both cut rather forlorn figures but fortunately the review sections more than make up for it.

First up, the PM with a lowly two-star rating.

“It said 'strong and stable' so many times I thought it wanted to muck out the local riding academy. It didn’t make a very good job of it.”

“Firstly, I did not order this... it turned up at my door uninvited. It did not integrate with the household and only knew a few words of English.. 'strong and stable'... 'will of the people' and Brexit means Brexit'. It does not appear to come with the promise of a £350 million guarantee and I was told that the product insurance was invalid and I would not be getting a refund! The Trade Description office agreed that all claims were grossly inaccurate and constituted a fraudulent advert. This will be settled through the courts!”

“Not sure with this one, seems very one dimensional. Could be improved by inserting a strong bamboo cane up the back to make it stronger and more stable, same thing applies to this likeness.”

“As effigies go this burns very well. Highly recommended.”

“Bought to keep those bloody cats from next door off my lawn.More cats than ever are on my lawn, but now I'm unable to get through my French doors.1/5 would still fascist again.”

“This Theresa May cardboard cutout was just the ticket for a series of 'meetings' we are running in different parts of the country in the run up to the UK general election. Hooked up with a device which plays focus group approved slogans on a loop and surrounded by other cardboard cutouts from the 'ordinary people' range we have managed to pull off another coup!”

Contrast this with Corbyn who is riding high on five stars and more than double the amount of reviews.

“Honest description doesn't spin round even when the wind blows in a different direction, has a calming influence, not glossy what you see is what you get.”

“Best on the market. Very robust and strong , excellent value for money.”

“Honest product description. So good I'm ordering 88,000,000 more.”

“Many of my friends and relatives were not sure they would like this cutout. They were surprised to find how much they liked it upon examination.”

“I did not expect to be so impressed with the JC model having bought a TM one on the recommendation of several newspapers. I should have trusted my own eyes as I'd seen the TM model on TV in Brussels and should have remembered that no one seemed interested in making eye contact with it let alone admiring it. By contrast, the JC model has understated likability and is incredibly durable. It has been around for decades showing respect for it's environments...it is now belatedly acquiring a cult following. Several versions have been spotted on allotments, on public transport and at huge public gatherings and they resist being jostled, blown over or trampled on. Honestly, I can see me hanging onto this JC for years!”

On the actual campaign trail, Diane Abbott has defended Labour’s proposal to fund 10,000 additional police on the streets of England and Wales by reversing cuts to capital gains tax.

The shadow home secretary came under close scrutiny for how the party would fund the plan - which she said would go some way to addressing cuts to policing since 2010.

Speaking on BBC Radio 4 Today, Abbott said the pledge would nurture community policing to bring down levels of violent crime.

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