9 Hilariously Depressing Analogies For Theresa May's Brexit Deal

If you don't laugh...
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You may well have noticed that something rather big happened today - that’s right, a YouTube prankster cemented his head inside a microwave.

There was also another important story that may have just edged it in the “most read” stakes - but only just.

Tough competition for the top story on the BBC News website#BrexitDeal pic.twitter.com/jSyLpLyOM4

— Jonathan Roberts (@robertsjonathan) December 8, 2017

It is of course, the #BrexitDeal.

Or to put it another way...

So we are to stay aligned to both single market and custom union rules but have no say in future rule changes nor representation in the European Parliament. So surely it would make sense just to stay in both? #BrexitDeal

— Ben Nutland (@BenNutland) December 8, 2017

Remarkably, the deal appears to have united both Leavers and Remainers albeit in a unified chorus of displeasure at the PM’s negotiation skills.

Scanning Twitter reaction to the #brexitdeal - although neither Leavers nor Remainers are happy with it - it's seems to be the Leavers who are the most unhappy with it.

— Tom Pride (@ThomasPride) December 8, 2017

And then there was Nigel Farage...

The 17.4m did not vote for a large exit fee, the ECJ continuing to have a say over our country or a 2 year transition. This is not a deal, it's a capitulation. pic.twitter.com/cX9qrCi9iP

— Nigel Farage (@Nigel_Farage) December 8, 2017

Farage campaigned for Britain to no longer be under EU regulation and achieved not only to still be under those regulations but removed our ability to influence them and made us pay more for the privilege. And put himself out of a job.

Truly a political giant. #BrexitDeal pic.twitter.com/6FcORuvvYn

— Mike Landers (@ukplissken) December 8, 2017

Regardless, one bright spot of the day was the flood of imaginative analogies for the day’s events.

THE DRUNKEN IDIOT

That time that drunk idiot climbed out of the club window, wearing Union Jack shorts, and then queued for two years, argued with the doormen and then paid to get back in - just to sit almost where he was before. Then vomited on his shoes.

#BrexitDeal

— Will Black (@WillBlackWriter) December 8, 2017

THE LANDLORD

Me: You need to reduce my rent.

Landlord: No, I’m going to increase it.

Me: But...

Him: And I will no longer do repairs.

Me: No, that’s-

Him: And you can only live there on weekends.

[goes home to wife]

Me: I have made a great breakthrough in my negotiations.#BrexitDeal

— Europe Ian 🏳️🌈 (@DivineDigit) December 8, 2017

THE USED-CAR SALESMAN

Brexit is now a bit like trading in your car for a new car, only to discover that you've just paid a fortune to buy back the same car but with slashed tyres and no steering wheel.#BrexitDeal

— James Melville (@JamesMelville) December 8, 2017

THE INEVITABLE CAT GIF

The Prime Minister and the European Commission say "Sufficient Progress" has been made on reaching the next step of a #BrexitDeal. Here is that progress: pic.twitter.com/2mD2NqrAGg

— Evie the Cat (@HMCabinetCat) December 8, 2017

THE RUBBISH CYCLIST

#BrexitDeal in a nutshell: pic.twitter.com/JWzZWGtI8x

— matt 🔔 (@mbell_gb) December 8, 2017

THE UNI SLACKER

See #TheresaMay has decided to take the student approach towards deadlines, leave it till near the deadline and pull an all nighter and compromise on quality due to running out of time. Wonder if she had a bottle of monster to keep her going #BrexitDeal

— Jamie McFadyen (@jamiedrmc) December 8, 2017

THE CHURCHILL

#BrexitDeal this is not the end, nor the beginning of the end, but it might be the end of the beginning

— Ray Perman (@HubrisTheBook) December 8, 2017

THE NO-NONSENSE REBRAND

New Government department to replace Dept. International Trade... #BrexitDeal pic.twitter.com/bnl93D23TR

— Rob Davidson (@bobbledavidson) December 8, 2017

THE FUDGER

I haven't seen this much fudge since the last time I visited a Cornish gift shop. #BrexitDeal #bbcdp pic.twitter.com/6camLQ5ju7

— Briefcase Michael (@BriefcaseMike) December 8, 2017

K E Y P O I N T S O F T O D A Y’ S D E A L

  • A deal has been reached between the European Union and the United Kingdom on phase one of the Brexit talks.

  • The European Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker revealed early on Friday morning that “sufficient progress” has now been made.

  • This opens the way for negotiations on the future trade relationship between the UK and EU to begin.

  • Theresa May said the deal makes sure there will be “no hard border” between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland.

  • The prime minister said the rights of EU citizens living in the UK and British citizens living in the EU will be protected

  • A financial settlement will be paid by the UK to the EU which is “fair to the British taxpayer”, May said.

  • DUP leader Arlene Foster said she was now satisfied there would now be “no red line down the Irish Sea” separating Northern Ireland from Great Britain.

  • May will personally guarantee to the people of Ulster six promises, including leaving the EU customs union and single market and upholding the Good Friday Agreement peace deal

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