What are some of your wildest sexual fantasies? You don’t have to tell us, but have a think.
Chances are, it may be similar to a lot of other people (and if not, then more power to you and your kinks). A lingerie and sex toy brand has found that there are indeed some sex acts that prove more popular than others.
The sexual wellness experts at Sinful took a deep dive into the sexual desires of the UK public.
And the ones that came out on top? Sex outside, mutual oral sex (lovingly referred to as 69ing), and taking part in a threesome.
The survey also found that seven in 10 people (70%) have carried out at least one sexual desire in real life, the most popular being sex outdoors, with nearly one in four people (24%) having had a little al-fresco fumble.
The most sexually open city was revealed to be Cardiff, with 85% of people trying at least one sexual fantasy, closely followed by Birmingham with 83% and Liverpool with 78%.
More reserved cities on the list were London, with 34% of people never trying out a sexual fantasy in real life, followed by Brighton (32%) and Edinburgh (31%).
People in a relationship are the most sexually adventurous, with 80% of couples having tried at least one of their sexual fantasies.
Those who identify as single are not far behind but are not as sexually adventurous as the those in a relationship (70% of single people have tried at least one sexual fantasy).
Most popular sexual fantasies:
Sex outside, 21%
Mutual oral sex (69ing), 20%
Having a threesome,18%
Lingerie, 17%
Using sex toys with a partner, 17%
Sex with a stranger, 16%
Role Play, 14%
Sensual massage, 12%
Spanking, 10%
Light BDSM (blindfolds, hand ties), 10%Women’s top five sexual desires:
Sex outside, 17%
Using sex toys with a partner, 17%
Lingerie, 16%
Using sex toys solo, 12%
Sex with a stranger, 12%
Role Play, 12%Men’s top five sexual desires:
Mutual oral sex (69ing), 24%
Having a threesome, 24%
Sex outside, 23%
Sex with a stranger, 21%
Lingerie, 18%
With 70% of all Brits having at least one sexual fantasy, it’s a shame that nearly one in three don’t feel comfortable opening up about them to their sexual partner.
If you can relate to not being able to open up to your partner about your intimacy desires, there are things you can do to start the conversation.
Cate Mackenzie, a psychosexual therapist couples counsellor, says a good way to set up these conversations is by making sure the setting is relaxed, so sitting down on the sofa or having a bath together. Stay humorous and flirty, making the fantasy sound fun, she adds. You should be able to laugh about it, while also playing with new ideas.
Consent is crucial, Mackenzie stresses – striking the right balance between suggesting ideas, but not forcing your partner to do things. “We are all sensitive people and if you can use emotional literacy, then you can invite your partner into supporting you to enjoy sex even more.”
″‘I’ statements involving the other person can help: ‘I would love it if you smacked my bum’ or ‘I would like to lick chocolate off your breasts’, for example.
“You shouldn’t be saying anything along the lines of ‘you are so boring you never try anything new,’” she adds. That’s a sure-fire turn off right there.”
You can also ask what your partner would enjoy and go from there.
Happy fantasy exploration!