You’ve been dating your partner for a few months now and they’re loyal, committed and attentive. You think this is THE person until you get a sinking feeling that something may be wrong.
You can’t describe it, but something feels off and you suspect that your partner could be cheating on you. No one wants to get cheated on, but there are ways to know if your partner is being unfaithful.
Dark Horse from CheatersHandbook.com has been a serial cheater for the past decade and believes that leading a double life is an art form.
It might be controversial but he explains that there’s a lot that goes into being a cheater.
“It’s not about fleeting encounters or meaningless flings. It’s about maintaining multiple relationships and doing so without raising any eyebrows. And it certainly helps if you’re always striving to be a better companion,” he says.
According to the ‘infidelity expert’, some people are ‘quite sloppy’ when they’re cheating – they leave clues and make it easy for their significant other to find out. If you feel like your partner is slipping up, here are some ways you can find out.
They’re keeping secrets
Relationships should be a space where you feel like you can be open and transparent. If you start to notice that your partner is being secretive, it might be time to investigate.
“The first rule of leading a double life is never to spill the beans,” Dark Horse says.
“If you feel the need to share, start your own blog or set up an anonymous account on social media platforms and share away. But remember, the more people who know, the more likely your secret life is to be exposed,” he adds.
There’s no trace of infidelity
The first thing you want to do if you feel like your partner is cheating on you is find proof. If you’ve searched high and low and found no traces of infidelity, this might not be a good thing as they could just be really good at hiding it.
“My partner uses my phone all the time. Not out of suspicion, but out of convenience,” Dark Horse says.
“So, I make sure to never use common messaging apps. I stick to the messaging features on dating sites or use certain apps that my partner wouldn’t think to check,” he adds.
“And if these apps don’t auto-delete messages, I manually delete them. This way, even if my partner uses my phone, there’s no trace of my other life,” Dark explains.
They’re being sneaky with their finances
It’s not just your mobile you need to think about, you’ll need to look for financial traces too.
Dark says the best way to do that is to use cash or crypto.
“You don’t want to raise eyebrows when the credit card statement arrives. A mysterious charge on your credit card can lead to uncomfortable questions and suspicions. So, to avoid this, always pay in cash or use cryptocurrency,” he says.
They always stick to a routine
If your partner sticks to their routine to a T, it might actually be a red flag. Dark shares that he has a set routine that he follows religiously.
He says: “I never break it. My partner is smart, and any deviation from my routine would raise suspicions. So, whether it’s going to the gym or having a boys’ night out, I stick to my routine and ensure that my other life doesn’t interfere with it.”
They have a burner phone
Some jobs require you to have two phones but your partner might be using this as a way to be unfaithful.
“If you don’t want to tell your other partner that you’re in a relationship, it’s best to use a burner phone,” Dark says.
He continues: “Keep it at your office or in your car. This way, you can maintain your privacy and avoid any potential conflicts that might arise if your other partner discovers your relationship.”
As Dark has demonstrated, leading a double life is about more than just getting caught. “It’s about not arousing suspicion or even acting suspiciously. Partners have strong intuition, and the minute they suspect something, it’s the beginning of the end,” he adds.
He explains that it’s a cheater’s job to not get caught. “Of course, it goes without saying that you don’t want to get caught in a compromising situation. That would be terrible and too many feelings would get hurt. You have to treat leading a double life with the same discipline you would a business,” he says.
It might feel surreal to read but this is the reality for cheaters – they seriously go out of their way to make sure they maintain their double life. If you have a sneaky feeling that your partner is being unfaithful, it could be better to be safe than be sorry.