If you’ve been a little less on social media than usual recently, you may have missed the #WomenInMaleFields trend that’s been dominating TikTok and Instagram over the last couple of weeks.
The trend — which is predominately about heterosexual relationships — is a satirical narrative change on the toxic behaviours exhibited by men while dating and even once in relationships.
The trend looks at frustrating behaviours which are all too common, such as ghosting for weeks but then responding to Instagram to more severe, impactful happenings in relationships which are signs of emotional neglect and gaslighting.
User @marla_fritz nailed this perfectly with her video saying: “He was crying in bed so I said ‘here we go again’ and turned around and fell asleep.”
This video gained 864k likes and the top comments include “Can you go cry in the living room, I’m trying to sleep”, “It’s something new every day with you”, and “I don’t know what you want me to say”. Gut-wrenching role reversals that too many of us are all-too-familiar with.
While this trend can be somewhat reassuring — it’s always good to know you’re not alone — it also depicts the painful reality many women have faced in their day to day relationships with men.
More than that, it is often highlighting domestic mental abuse.
User Jessica Wetz said: “TikTok has made a huge impact on feminism in the last five years. I’ve watched women learn what ‘weaponised incompetence’ is and leave their husbands.”
She went on to say that while it may be easy to tell yourself that you just want too much from relationships but in fact, “you’re just looking for mutual respect, you’re just looking for what you give them. That’s not too much to ask for because clearly, you’re already doing it.”
User ZayTravels said: “The ‘womeninmalefields’ trend is literally exposing all the lies and things that men have said and done to women which have been unspoken... and brushed off for so many years.
“Exposing cheaters, abusers, players, their red flags.”
It seems so.
On their website, The National Centre for Domestic Abuse states: “Whenever a person is exposed to behaviour from their partner which leaves them feeling depressed or a range of other traumatic emotions, they are a victim of domestic mental abuse.
“The drip-drip effect of the behaviour lasting over a period of time as the perpetrator seeks to gain and maintain total control their partner can take a long while to catch up with the victim, who may rationalise what is happening or deny such abuse is taking place.”
Help and support:
If you, or someone you know, is in immediate danger, call 999 and ask for the police. If you are not in immediate danger, you can contact:
- The Freephone 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline, run by Refuge: 0808 2000 247
- In Scotland, contact Scotland’s 24 hour Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline: 0800 027 1234
- In Northern Ireland, contact the 24 hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: 0808 802 1414
- In Wales, contact the 24 hour Life Fear Free Helpline on 0808 80 10 800.
- National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0800 999 5428
- Men’s Advice Line: 0808 801 0327
- Respect helpline (for anyone worried about their own behaviour): 0808 802 0321