Have you found that recently, when you argue or are in spats with your partner, you find yourself not being able to let the subject go? Even if it’s something as small as not doing the dishes or making the bed, you somehow seem stuck on the same topic still?
While this isn’t uncommon, experts believe that the problem may be a lot deeper than household chores and forgotten tasks.
In fact, you may want to stop your argument in its tracks and ask yourself what the real issue could be.
The reasoning behind your inability to let disputes go
According to the relationship experts at Relate: “If you find you and your partner arguing frequently, or about the same kinds of things a lot, it can be a good idea to think about what’s really causing the conflict.
“Are you arguing about what you think you’re arguing about – or are there other things going on in the relationship that frustrate or worry you?”
Additionally, life is hard. Outside influences often impact our day to day life and of course, that will include relationships.
Relate added: “Have there been any recent changes in your lives that may have put extra pressure on either of you?”
Remember that even if you’re good at taking things in your stride, you can still be hurting and taking it out on loved ones. Bereavements, moving house, work pressures... all of these can add up.
The marriage and communication experts at The Happy Marriage recommend having difficult conversations with your partner by starting sentences with the following words:
I felt…
When you…
I expected…
So, for example: “I felt sad when you didn’t defend me in front of your mum yesterday. I expected you to say something and let her know that wasn’t ok.”
From there, you can have a more open, honest discussion that doesn’t boil down to petty complaints.