Inviting kids to weddings is always a big debate, some people create a separate area for children to have fun and others say strictly no kids allowed. Not everyone wants children running around while saying their vows, and I get it, kids can be unpredictable.
In my own circle of friends I’ve seen childfree weddings gaining more popularity, but for parents it can be difficult to organise childcare.
One mum started a debate on Mumsnet with the question “am I being unreasonable to ask to bring my baby to a wedding?” The post got quite a few responses ranging from yes, you are, to no, you shouldn’t even need to ask to being your baby.
In the post she wrote: “My oldest friend is getting married in December and I just got the invite. It has mine and darling husband’s name on it not our three kids. This is absolutely not a problem. Who wants to party when you have kids!
“We are only invited to the night do (I think it’s a very small day do) and I have messaged her to ask if I can bring the baby who will be 4 months old as he is exclusively breastfed.”
She went onto reveal her message which read: “If it fits in with your wedding plans could we bring the baby as he is completely breastfed and we wouldn’t be able to leave him for that long. If it’s a problem we won’t be able to come to the wedding but we won’t be offended we would understand and wish you all the best.”
The mum also provided some context and explained she lived an hour away with no options for childcare.
Despite the “polite” message, according to mumsnetters, the bride did not reply but when the mum reached out to another friend she was told the bride was not happy with her request.
“The hen do is next week and I’m a bit apprehensive (more so because DH is coming to the hotel where it is being held with the baby in a room so he can phone me when to feed him).
“I thought I was being completely reasonable. She could say no babies/children and that would have been done. Am I missing something?”
Parents were quick to say she should not have asked as the invite only included her and her husband’s name.
One wrote: “She specifically said no children it was really up to you to go or not, I don’t blame her for not replying she’s probably stressed and your request is maybe her feel awkward, just don’t go if you can’t leave the baby.”
Another chimed in: “Well she did say no children because their names were not on the invite it’s you that has caused ‘confusion’ there is no confusion.”
But some parents agreed with the mum and said she was not being unreasonable as the baby is young so it would be difficult to leave her child at home.
One person even went as far as to say she didn’t need to ask: “No need to ask, not only is there no service to disrupt, babes in arms are always welcome alongside their mother, and possibly their father.”