Using toddler reins (or leashes) can feel like a pretty divisive parenting strategy for stopping little ones from running off.
People tend to take issue with the fact you’re putting a lead on your child, a bit like you would a dog. But if your young child is a “runner”, then is it really so bad to want to keep them safe?
A parent recently took to Reddit to ask everyone’s opinions on using reins for a toddler to stop them from bolting when they’re out and about.
“My almost 2 year old is on the move constantly and she hates being in a cart or stroller. I never wanted to or thought I’d be the person considering the toddler leash but I think it would give me some sense of security with her,” said jaycienicolee.
“She thinks it’s hilarious to run away and not listen when we call her back or chase after her.”
What are reins?
Reins are a bit like a dog lead that’s attached to either a harness or a backpack which a child wears. Some parents might opt for a wrist strap instead which works in a similar way.
The idea is it stops them from running off and potentially getting into danger or lost.
However critics suggest young kids need to be able to explore the world around them, and being on a leash could “condition children to feel anxiety about exploring on their own”.
What do parents think?
The Reddit thread had dozens of responses which all shared a common theme: it’s better to be safe than sorry. In fact, I’ve never seen parents so unanimous about something on an internet forum.
“I was gifted with a kid that’s not a runner, and has always loved to hold my hand so I’ve never needed a leash,” said one mum.
But she added that “a kid on a leash is better than a kid under the wheels of a car” and concluded: “They won’t be on it forever, do what works.”
Another parent said: “My first kid lulled me into thinking toddler leashes were overreacting. My second taught me how lifesaving they can be. It was insane whiplash.”
And another admitted they used to “frown upon them” until their youngest son “humbled” them.
“He is autistic and an eloper, and it literally takes looking the other way for one second for them to run,” they explained. “Do what you need to do to keep your child safe.”
Children’s reins, or leashes, are not well studied, so it’s impossible to say whether they’re causing much harm to a child’s development.
One parent pointed out that they “could not find any evidence that leashing a toddler causes any short or long term harm”.
They did add, however, that “a toddler running under a truck causes harm”.
For Neal Horen, of the Georgetown University Center for Child and Human Development, a key issue with toddler reins is that you’re dealing with the child’s behaviour, but not necessarily learning to address the problem of them running off.
He told Famly: “If the danger you’re addressing is that the child runs off and puts themselves in some kind of unsafe situation, the skill you want to build is how they handle their emotions and impulsivity.
“How do you get them to learn the skill if they never have the opportunity to do something impulsive, and then learn how to self-correct?”
Experts agree that while using reins, you should also talk to your child about why they shouldn’t run off so they can use the opportunity to learn.