Some parents brag about their children’s refined palates and appreciation for a healthy variety of nutrient-rich foods. Other parents think those people are liars.
It’s no secret kids tend to prefer dinosaur nuggets and buttered noodles to the balanced meals doctors recommend. If that applies to your child, the good news is that the funny moms and dads on Twitter can totally relate.
We’ve rounded up 45 funny and too-real tweets about dealing with picky eaters.
Me: what do you want for dinner?
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) November 4, 2020
3yo: chicken nuggets.
Me: how about trying big boy food tonight?
3yo: okay I’ll have big chicken nuggets.
My picky-eater child just told me the guinea pig food smelled delicious and I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t consider serving it for dinner.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 10, 2019
I think I've figured out this whole meal planning thing with kids:
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) November 5, 2019
Monday - won't eat it
Tuesday - don't like it
Wednesday - ewww gross
Thursday - that AGAIN
Friday - it smells weird
Saturday - this has chunks
Sunday - pizza
Picky eaters are worse than even the meanest TV cooking show judge. No judge is gonna yell “This chicken ruined my life!” and start violently sobbing.
— The Dad (@thedad) January 5, 2020
My 4yo is a pretty picky eater for somebody who is currently dipping apple slices into ketchup.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) August 23, 2019
Me: I don’t get why our kids are such picky eaters. It’s just food. Eat it.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 7, 2016
Wife: Have a salad.
Me: I'd rather die.
Toddler Food Network:
— dadpression (@Dadpression) February 22, 2017
"For easy plating, drop it on the floor and refuse to eat until a different meal is served."
To avoid dinner time meltdowns from my toddler, I only make "chicken".
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) July 19, 2017
Beef = Chicken.
Fish = Chicken.
Pork = Fancy Chicken.
When the one kid who usually eats anything you cook suddenly decides he's picky now. pic.twitter.com/3ijk0pne0X
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) November 12, 2017
I gave my kid three different styles of pizza today because a balanced diet is important.
— Northern Lights 🦖🦎🐢 (@PinkCamoTO) January 25, 2016
[God creating my kids]
— SpacedMom (@copymama) March 20, 2019
God: Make them both picky eaters
Angel: Got it, standard
God: Make one of them not like pizza
Angel: Haha, having some fun with this one, huh?
God: Make the other not like ice cream
Angel: Ok that’s just not believable
8 is eating a balanced breakfast of strawberries and cool ranch doritos.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) April 11, 2021
Me: what do you want for dinner?
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) May 21, 2020
3yo: nothing.
Me: you want cheese on that nothing?
3yo: yes please.
My kids are such picky eaters that today I told them I was proud of them for eating McDonalds chicken nuggets.
— Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) January 3, 2021
Kids: What’s for dinner?
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) July 23, 2020
Me: I’m making Chicken, Broccoli and Ziti Alfredo.
Kids:
Me: wut
Child 1: I don’t want broccoli in mine.
Child 2: I don’t want chicken in mine.
Child 3: I don’t want chicken or broccoli.
Child 4: Can you rinse off-
Me [picking up phone]: Pizza it is.
If you don't add the word "pie" to the name of every food your picky toddler doesn't want just to get them to eat it, are you even a parent?
— A Bearer Of Dad News🇬🇾 (@HomeWithPeanut) December 15, 2017
A teardrop tattoo for every homemade dinner kids refuse to eat.
— lilswizzy (@MotherPlaylist) March 17, 2021
Me: "I hate that I have to make 2 different meals bc the kids won't eat what we eat."
— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) March 29, 2019
Husband: "So just make one and make them eat it."
Me: *busts into laughter*
Moms around the world: *bust into laughter*
God: *busts into laughter*
3 refuses to eat her bagel because it has a hole in it and I, too, wish I could refuse to do things for blatantly ridiculous reasons
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) November 30, 2019
Me: What do you want for dinner?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 4, 2019
5-year-old: Ice cream.
Me: Try again.
5: Lots of ice cream.
I admire her optimism.
DAUGHTER: I don’t want that for dinner.
— The Dad (@thedad) July 21, 2019
ME: What do you want?
DAUGHTER: Noodles.
ME: …This is noodles.
DAUGHTER: I don’t want that.
ME: I don’t…I don’t know where we go from here.
Me: avocado
— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) July 23, 2019
My picky kids: avocadon’t
My daughter won’t eat chicken but she will drink water out of a squirt gun that was left outside all winter
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) May 9, 2018
9yo: What can I have for lunch?
— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 6, 2019
Me: What do you want?
9yo: What are my options?
Me: You literally eat 5 things.
When you mention to another mom that your 6yo is a picky eater and she responds by saying her 10 month old loves everything she cooks. pic.twitter.com/sMKg8qQ5JO
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 6, 2017
In picky eater news: I tried to give my son a piece of turkey and it scared him.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) January 11, 2017
My favorite game to play with my child is saying “what do you want for dinner?” and then having her refuse 184738 options and end up making butter noodles.
— Amanda Marcotte | Mediocre Mommy (@storiesofamom) January 16, 2020
No one:
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) February 25, 2020
Not a soul:
4yo: No! I want something else for dinner! That’s disgusting!
Me: I haven’t even told you what we’re having yet, you lunatic!
Can we please stop bloggers from pretending they know how to get picky kids to eat and just call fruit snacks a square meal?
— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) April 4, 2017
Things my toddler won't eat:
— RubMor (@QBruby) July 13, 2019
Frosting
Chocolate
Ice cream
Things my toddler will eat:
Lint
Leaves
Toothpaste
I think l'm raising a diabetic raccoon
Them: what’s parenthood like?
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) January 14, 2018
Me: I spent my Saturday evening picking every bit of parsley off dinner so tiny people stop crying is what it’s like.
The best way to get your picky kid to eat is to get your own plate of food and be starving and they will eat 3/4 of whatever you made for yourself.
— 🥴steph🥴 (@eff_yeah_steph) June 27, 2018
My daughter couldn’t eat because her banana was too sad pic.twitter.com/H0uljgdOrd
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) July 18, 2020
Eating Out w/Kids:
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) June 27, 2017
Act 1: Son orders Mac & Cheese
Act 2: Won't eat it bec "forgot he doesn't like it"
Act 3: Asks for dessert
(Credits roll)
Saying kids are "picky" eaters is too cute sounding. Refusey. We should call them refusey eaters.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) July 7, 2017
Wife: ugh our daughter won’t eat any food.
— NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) November 26, 2018
Me: I’m on it.
[later]
Me: [slides $20 across the table] tell my toddler to eat her food.
Mall Santa: I’m on it.
Eating breakfast with a toddler is fun if you like saying “eat your breakfast” for 2 hours.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) February 18, 2018
I have decided to write "Nothing!" on an empty cardboard box.
— Jack's Dad (@DaddingAround) September 2, 2019
I'm going to give it to Jack every time he says he wants nothing for dinner.
It's a learning exercise.
Not only does my kid refuse to eat the food that's in front of her, she also refuses to look at pictures of food.
— lilswizzy (@MotherPlaylist) March 4, 2017
My son won't eat blueberries.
— Carbosly (@Carbosly) July 11, 2014
Because apparently, blueberries are peas holding their breath.
Dinner Game for Toddlers: Every time they say "eat your food" take a sip of water.
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) October 9, 2013
4: mom i want a bun with my hotdog
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) April 25, 2021
me: are you going to eat it this time
4: yes i promise
also 4: pic.twitter.com/fK2Yp5HLE4
If my kids lived in the movie A Quiet Place:
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) March 4, 2020
Me: (whispering) Be very quiet or the aliens will eat us.
My kids: EAT? IS IT TIME FOR SNACK NOT THAT SNACK WE WANT CHIPS EWW APPLES CAN WE PLAY WITH PLAY DOH
Me: SHUT UUUUUUP
Aliens: lol hey dinner and a show
Giving my toddler ice cream for dinner because today that counts as a well rounded healthy meal. These are the rules.
— Eric Smith (@ericsmithrocks) November 4, 2020
When life hands you lemons, nope your kids won't eat that either.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) June 19, 2019
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