25 Too Real Tweets About Women's Magazines

"I feel like the answer to every how-to beauty article in a women's magazine is 'have a lot of money'."
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They may be called “women’s magazines,” but many of us started flipping through those glossy pages when we were kids and teens.

The messages we got were often ... questionable.

From medical fearmongering to fashion advice that never quite panned out, these magazines offer a lot of fodder for commentary.

Many of the funny folk on Twitter do just that. We’ve rounded up 25 funny and relatable tweets about women’s magazines

You're Already Failing In Ways We've Barely Finished Inventing Yet! (Fun & Flirty For Fall!)
-every women's magazine headline ever

— maura quint (@behindyourback) October 20, 2016

is your biggest fear being pregnant but not knowing bc your uterus is tilted backwards so you’ve no symptoms only to one day have a tummy ache and actually be in labour or was i allowed read too many women’s magazines as a 9 year old

— natasha (@yerr_wan) February 8, 2021

This reminds me of that section of women’s magazines where they tell you how to dress at every age pic.twitter.com/63TilcRMFR

— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) September 14, 2021

women's magazines: here's how you can improve
men's magazines: here's some pics of women who improved. your dadbod is fine.

— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) June 4, 2015

Do men's magazines use the word "pout" to mean "mouth" as frequently as ladies' magazines do? (I'm guessing the answer is absolutely.)

— Claire Zulkey (@Zulkey) September 30, 2013

As I get ready for my 12-8 work shift today, it occurs to me that women’s magazines really convinced me that “going from day to night” was going to be a big part of my adult life. But so far it has not come up.

— Rachel Rosengard (@RachelRosengard) February 11, 2021

Women's magazine
Page 14: You're beautiful the way you are
Page 15: How to quickly lose weight
Page 16: Cake Recipe

— Chuck Bass (@heychuckbass) July 28, 2015

Women’s magazines keep bombarding me with tutorials on how to straighten my hair so I can “make men fall in love”; yet I can’t find *one single tutorial* on how to turn my hair into snakes so I can petrify all flirty men and have the time and headspace to finish my novel.

— Icona 📚🎃 (@Iconawrites) January 23, 2020

Yesterday someone asked me why men’s magazines like GQ and Esquire have such consistently excellent food and restaurant coverage and women’s magazines fully don’t and I didn’t even know where to begin to begin

— Helen Rosner (@hels) May 15, 2018

ever since i first read a women’s magazine in my tweens...i’ve been trying, striving, toiling (even) to pair a flirty slip dress with combat boots-at night i lie awake tossing/ turning ...my mind unravels- the juxtaposition of the elements? i’m left slackjawed at the question ...

— Catherine Cohen (@catcohen) December 14, 2018

So sick of the "Who wore it best?" feature in women's magazines. Stop pitting us against each other! If you didn't put it on backwards & your tit didn't pop out, you wore it just fine.

— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) October 14, 2019

I feel like the answer to every how-to beauty article in a women's magazine is "have a lot of money."

— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) September 3, 2015

Women’s magazines really made me think that men liked it when women called them on their shit and wow that has not been the case.

— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) September 19, 2019

Something I don't think men always realize is how many women grew up on a diet of "emergency tips" in women's magazines and elsewhere—the "emergency" being that you might look unprofessional, messy, or otherwise unacceptable. We can McGyver the shit out of things. https://t.co/UtLlg03BNM

— andi zeisler (@andizeisler) February 22, 2019

How long until a women's magazine asks Malala Yousafzai how she stays in shape?

— Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe) December 11, 2014

I’m so sorry but being on magazine covers has not mattered since American Girl magazine was discontinued

— Karen Chee (@karencheee) March 6, 2020

I’ll subscribe to any women’s magazine that tells me I’m already drinking enough water.

— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) October 26, 2017

Well I for one am shocked that women's magazines are not living up to their usual jobs of boosting women's self-esteem & reflecting reality.

— Claire Zulkey (@Zulkey) January 8, 2014

Best way to send urself back to that dark place: attempt making a vision board using only women's magazines to collage.

— Jenny Yang's touring the Northeast Oct 20-23 (@jennyyangtv) March 7, 2014

Women’s magazines wanna talk about “dress for your body type” but never include mine, which is thick spaghetti noodle. Where are the clothes for girls with similar proportions to udon?? Anyway, I’m mad.

— Den (@daniellechezzy) November 14, 2019

One of my faaaaaavourite women’s magazine tutorials is when they show you a 15-step guide to doing a “messy bun” like ok thanks Anna Wintour, actually my hair looks like this because of capitalism and low-grade depression not a hot roller

— amil (@amil) May 31, 2019

I don't subscribe to many magazines, but if they came out with "Good Enough Housekeeping," that's one I would read.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) March 28, 2019

'You've Done Everything Wrong In Your Life Until This Moment'

~ Every women's magazine article.

— 🍁snowjob🍁 (@canadasandra) August 3, 2014

People complain about how magazine like Vogue foster unrealistic ideals for women but my main complaint is it's TOO HEAVY!!!

— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) March 12, 2015

Women's magazines throw around the term "cool girl" style like this is something we all know but I have no idea what they're talking about.

— Claire Zulkey (@Zulkey) June 9, 2014
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