Tweets About The Funny And Arbitrary Rules Parents Have For Kids

"I sure tell my family, 'Don't blame me, I don't make the rules' a lot for someone that makes literally every single rule in this house."

The rules parents set for their children are often informed by scholarly research, past family experience, and individual personality considerations. Other times, however, they’re based on completely random whims or bizarre circumstances.

The funny parents and children of Twitter have joked about and lamented these funny and arbitrary rules. We’ve rounded up 18 relatable examples.

I love the arbitrary rules I make as a parent like no you can’t have chips for breakfast but please have this sugar ladened cereal instead

— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) March 4, 2021

I wasn't allowed to watch The Simpsons until I was 19, but my mom offered to put me on birth control when I was 13, so there was a fairly big grey area of inconsistent rules.

— Christina Evans (@cakevans) July 1, 2020

Most rules parents make are totally arbitrary. "We don't eat ice cream for breakfast." Why not? Mostly because I don't want to share it.

— Jen Bosen (@jenbosen) July 9, 2015

I think I'm going to be one of those parents that makes up arbitrary but unbreakable rules of the house like: "You must read the whole series of Chronicles of Narnia before i let you read Harry Potter."

— Pastor JJ - the simpleton. (@jjmann17) November 22, 2018

Me to my excessively polite parents growing up: omg no one else cares about being this polite, stop!!!

Me now, when someone doesn’t follow the arbitrary social rules ingrained in me by excessively polite parents: wtf

— Anna Menta (@annalikestweets) October 9, 2018

I sure tell my family, "Don't blame me, I dont make the rules" a lot for someone that makes literally every single rule in this house.

— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) December 4, 2019

When I was a kid I used to get mad because so many of the rules my parents made seemed so arbitrary.

Now that I’m a parent I realize that I was absolutely correct to be mad.

— Couper Moorhead (@CoupNBA) June 17, 2020

anyone else's parents have arbitrary rules about what food in the fridge is for eating, and what's for saving? no? just mine, then.

— jess (@quellajesska) December 18, 2012

No more French fries until you eat a chicken nugget is my personal favourite

— Joe ‘That Nerd Dad’ Williamson (@thatnerddad) March 4, 2021

I was raised in an era when parents cld apply arbitrary rules. I wasnt allowed to watch 'on the buses'. Not sure if that was a good thing

— rob smith (@grumpypostie) November 22, 2012

Me: “Kids, there will be no Covid schooling tomorrow in observance of Mother’s Day.”

Husband: “But Mother’s Day is today, not tomorrow.”

Me: “My school, my rules. Also, you’re fired.”

— Faux Ma (@Faux_Ma) May 10, 2020

Are anyone else's parents so inconsistent with the strict rules that you get whiplash cuz same

— Nicole (@heyitisme16) August 2, 2016

“We don’t eat candy we find in the public restroom” is a rule I had to make for 3 today.

— Marissa 🖤🐧💛 (@michimama75) May 30, 2020

I had my oldest son convinced for years that I didn’t have any control over the rules. When he’d question something, I’d shrug and say, “Well, that’s the rule.” He was about 7 when he caught on.

— Rebecca Sears (@Rebecca73400901) March 4, 2021

As a parent I enjoy making up arbitrary rules about things like breakfast.

“No you can’t have macaroni n cheese for breakfast. Here, have some chocolate Coco Puffs and a side of chocolate milk instead. Much better.”

— Janina Maria (@dontlosethekids) June 18, 2018

haha whats the deal with parents putting arbitrary rules on their kids for literally no reason?!

"You can bring water in your room but not soda!" Tf is that!!!

— rootoo🔪 (@skeletwt) February 21, 2021

The neighbor girl brought her Halloween candy when she came over to play with my kids.

She didn’t know that made her candy subject to a 2nd dad tax.

Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) November 2, 2019

I need to enforce a new rule here. No random children talking of Iron Man and roller coasters until I've had at least a sip of coffee

— Jen Good (@buriedwithkids) March 15, 2011

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