Too-Real Tweets About Yelling As A Parent

"Apologise for yelling at your mother. We don't yell at her, she yells at us."
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Plenty of people say they will never yell when they have children, but seasoned parents know it’s unavoidable at times.

When you’re dealing with energetic kids, sometimes you have to raise your voice just to get a word in edgewise. Or, as the funny parents of Twitter have noted, yelling may be needed to get your children to stop yelling...

We’ve rounded up 30 funny and relatable tweets about yelling as a parent.

STOP YELLING screamed the parent.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 10, 2021

When my life flashes before my eyes it’s just gonna be me yelling “PUT YOUR SHOES ON!” at my kids in a bunch of different pajama outfits.

— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) July 12, 2018

Kids like to annoyingly say mom to make you yell "WHAT!?!" and lovingly respond with "I love you" to make you feel like an asshole.

— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) May 29, 2019

Over 45% of parenting is just yelling "WHERE DID ALL THE SPOONS GO?"

— Sweet Momissa 🪁 (@sweetmomissa) March 7, 2020

If you think yelling 'stop fighting' at your kids is enough to actually get them to stop fighting, then you would be me and also you would be wrong.

— Moderately Mom (@moderately_mom) January 3, 2020

Keeping the magic in Christmas by yelling “Don’t open that!” every time an Amazon box is delivered.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 9, 2020

“Stop arguing with your sister, she’s THREE” I yell, as my argument with a seven year old begins to heat up.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 1, 2019

Let’s get married and have kids so instead of having a normal conversation we can yell back and forth over a preschooler trying to get us to watch her balance on one foot.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) August 2, 2019

It’s important not to yell at your children. Even if you’re frustrated it’s our responsibility to-

FOR FUCKS SAKE I TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES DONT EAT RASPBERRIES ON THE COUCH THEY STAIN GODDAMN IT

-remain calm and be the voice of reason.

— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) August 28, 2019

“We don’t eat cookies for breakfast!” - Things I yell before handing each kid a donut with chocolate milk for breakfast

— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) February 26, 2021

"Apologize for yelling at your mother. We don't yell at her, she yells at us."

-my husband, clearly the only person who understands the rules around here

— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) June 8, 2018

If you’ve never yelled at your kids to stop yelling, are you even a hypocrite?

...I mean...parent.

— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) November 19, 2019

Seventy-five percent of parenting is just trying not to yell "FUCK!" too loudly when you step on your kids' toys.

— A Bearer Of Dad News🇬🇾 (@HomeWithPeanut) June 15, 2018

My neighbor is always yelling at his son, Patrick. Like every day he is yelling for him to come inside.

Tonight I heard him say, “Patrick! Do NOT eat that dead squirrel!”

Turns out my neighbor has a dog named Patrick.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) April 27, 2021

If I could sing like Janis Joplin I’d be able to sing my children a lullaby before bed and yell at them to go to bed at the same time.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 19, 2018

Torn between yelling at my kid for being a million assignments behind again and hugging her for being so fucking relatable.

— Jenny Lawson (@TheBloggess) February 27, 2021

“FIVE MINUTES TIL BED!” I yell to my daughter because 90% of parenting is stage managing

— Molly Erdman (@erdmanmolly) May 11, 2021

I just asked my 3yo to do his best imitation of me so he cleared his throat and yelled “I’M SO ANGRY BECAUSE I NEED TO EAT”

— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) May 1, 2020

I yelled so loud earlier for 3 to get his hand off his penis that I am sure the college kid next door put his pants back on and closed his browser tab.

— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) June 26, 2019

On a scale of yelling to screaming how's your morning with the kids going?

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 3, 2021

Parenting during home school is tricky.

Now I have to ask, "Is anybody in a Zoom call?" before I yell at my kids.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 18, 2020

Having kids on summer break is just yelling, “SHUT THE DOOR!” until you die.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 17, 2021

Well, my child has seen his mother yell “JESUS FUCK” and shove a fistful of chips into my mouth.

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) September 30, 2020

Never thought I’d yell “Don’t fart on your brother!” three times before 8 AM on a Friday, yet here we are.

— The Dad Briefs™ (@SladeWentworth) August 30, 2019

“That’s it! I’m done!” I yell at my family as I continue to do absolutely everything for them, every day for the next 70 years.

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) May 20, 2020

Me: sorry I yelled but sometimes you don’t give me any other choice.

3yo: you’re always yelling.

Me: BC YOU’RE ALWAYS NOT GIVING ME ANY OTHER CHOICE!

3yo:

Me: sorry for yelling.

— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) February 7, 2020

Parenthood is hard because you don't know if your kids will remember that time you yelled at them without pants while you had your avocado face mask on, or that time you took them to the park and had a picnic.

— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) January 22, 2020

Oh, you’re one of those parents with a bedtime routine as opposed to yelling GO TO BED from the couch every 10 minutes for 2 hours.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 20, 2020

"GO TF TO SLEEP!!!" she screamed in her head, while humming a soothing lullaby.

— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) March 12, 2019

Trying not to yell at my kids so much. So when 3 was running around instead of sitting down at lunch I grunted, slammed, my fist on the table, and pointed at her seat while giving her the evil eye. Much better than yelling...

— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) October 3, 2019
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