Parents often lament the difficult teenage years – but angst and chaos can start early, leading the funny mums and dads of Twitter joke about the preteen years as well.
We’ve rounded up 45 funny tweets about parenting preteens.
Enjoy!
Preteens are living proof that you can love someone with every fiber of your being while still hoping they'll leave the room.
— BadParentingMoments (@BPMbadassmama) March 19, 2015
I spray deodorant on my 12yo son while he's sleeping. You're welcome.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) September 10, 2018
You think you are going to be a cool hip parent, then your 12 year old daughter wants a pair of plain gray sweatpants that cost $58.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 30, 2018
I like to make sure my preteen never wears an outfit ever again by telling her she looks really cute in it.
— m🙈mma unfiltered (@MommaUnfiltered) June 24, 2018
The awesome thing about having a preteen is that they make you feel like you have superpowers.
— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) November 16, 2018
Like the superpower of being able to embarrass them just by being in their presence in public.
New show idea based on my preteen: "The Sighing Years"
— Wendi Aarons (@WendiAarons) July 7, 2013
12-year-old son: Eats 3.6 million calories per day, doesn't gain an ounce.
— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) February 21, 2016
Me: Watches him eat it, gains six pounds.
My 12yo and her friend are going through a phase where they just say “huh-whut” and “yayyyyy-yuh” and “okyay!” like Lil Jon and I hope it’s not just a phase bc I like them better this way
— Sarah Wine-Thyre 🇺🇸🏳️🌈 (@SarahThyre) June 2, 2018
If you think hope is dead then you must not have a pre-teen asking you every day for his own cell phone.
— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) February 2, 2017
Asking a group of preteens to be quiet bc it’s time for bed isn’t even the stupidest thing I did today.
— m🙈mma unfiltered (@MommaUnfiltered) July 1, 2018
11yo: Let's go out and buy notebooks.
— Seasonal Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) June 24, 2018
Me: Didn't I just buy you a notebook?
11yo: Yes.
Me: So.
11yo: I don't physically need a new notebook. I emotionally need a new notebook.
I'm think God gives preteens eye rolls & attitudes so that parents don't get too nostalgic about our kids growing up so fast.
— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) August 13, 2016
Me: Just because you have those now doesn’t make you better than us. We are still your family.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 27, 2018
My 12 year old daughter taking out an AirPod: Did you say something?
My 12-year-old just called The Goonies an "old-timey movie" and I'm sad he has to move out now.
— Kim Holcomb (@kimholcomb) February 27, 2018
12yo son forgot his electric toothbrush -- so now he has to MOVE HIS ARM to brush his teeth.
— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) September 4, 2016
His protest was legendary.
Just overheard my 11yo son on the phone with his friend, "Don't worry, I will bring some of my dad's money."
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) November 11, 2017
Pro tip: when pre-teen daughter asks if you can talk, tell her, "Only if it's about YOUR CHANGING BODY."
— Jennifer Weiner (@jenniferweiner) April 4, 2013
I just took 4 preteen girls to dinner and I've never been more thrilled to be completely irrelevant.
— BadParentingMoments (@BPMbadassmama) February 28, 2015
The 12yo has a friend over and Bath&BodyWorks vapor is seeping out of her room like poison gas in a 60s sci-fi movie.
— Sarah Wine-Thyre 🇺🇸🏳️🌈 (@SarahThyre) February 24, 2018
'If you're gonna run away, you'll need a sweater and better shoes' is something I just told my preteen as he stomped down the driveway.
— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland) January 27, 2013
Me to my 12yo "By the way, I'm chaperoning your school dance tomorrow night."
— One Classy Motha (@MothaKim) December 4, 2015
*gently lays out MC Hammer pants and starts quad stretches*
When my 11yo daughter is mad at me, she’ll sing an annoying earworm-type song until it’s stuck in my head, then walk away grinning. Thing is, I’m so impressed by the level of her evil genius that I can’t even punish her for it.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) August 27, 2018
Me: Boom! Drops the mic!
— Experienced Bad Mom (@ExperBadMom) January 18, 2016
12yo: Nobody says that anymore Mom.
Me: Oh? What do they say?
12yo: I'm not telling you.
Over lunch my 11yo couldn't think of the word hot dog and called it a potato cock.
— Seasonal Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) November 27, 2018
Trying to convince myself shopping with a preteen is fun but she got stuck in her dressing room and a little voice in my head said, “run, it’s your only chance to escape.”
— Jessica Watson (@JessBWatson) December 8, 2018
KEEP OUT: A sign on a door that means, "It's time to buy your pre-teen books about puberty."
— Barmy Rootstock (@IbecameMyDad) March 8, 2013
My 12yo and her friend ordered Panda Express from Postmates and I have Ginuwine’s “Pony” queued up to blast when the delivery guy gets here just to embarrass them.
— Sarah Wine-Thyre 🇺🇸🏳️🌈 (@SarahThyre) July 7, 2018
From my brother
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) April 27, 2016
"My preteen told me she does everything. I do nothing.
I shut the main breaker off to the house and went to bed."
Your move
"I can't wait to get my braces off," said my 12-year-old son, on the way to getting his braces put on.
— Whit Honea (@whithonea) February 19, 2018
My wife and I just lipsynced the entirety of Bohemian Rhapsody and if you need my 12 year old you can find her under the kitchen table. In case you’re wondering what winning at parenting is like.
— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) September 3, 2018
Me, my daughter, & Joni. Clear in the way she keeps stopping to listen that Blue speaks to her tortured preteen soul like it spoke to mine.
— Krista O'Reilly (@krista_oreilly) December 20, 2014
You may think there is enough alcohol in the world to drown out the squeals of preteen girls who just went to their 1st dance
— m🙈mma unfiltered (@MommaUnfiltered) June 3, 2017
YOU ARE WRONG
My 12 year old’s favorite thing to do on summer break is sleep in past 11:00. My favorite thing is to remind her what time the bus comes when school starts back.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 25, 2018
12yo son just got up and applied Axe.
— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) October 15, 2016
Now the dog won't come upstairs.
I told my 12yo to get off his iPad and go outside and he said, "No. I'm not like that."
— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland) October 8, 2017
Today’s win: Finally trained my phone to quit autocorrecting to “duck”.
— inappropriate mom (@nicfit75) August 9, 2018
Today’s loss: Just texted my 11yo that’s he’s a lucky fuck.
{whispery narrator voice} Let's watch as the preteens who've been grounded for 1 wk from electronics approach their moment of freedom.
— Emily Wassaillingham (@ejwillingham) September 16, 2011
My 12 year old son is going to his first play with us tonight. I convinced him that everyone wears fanny packs to plays. We had to go buy him one at Walmart, but it will be worth it.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) August 13, 2018
12 year old son: Mom, you know we have dances now, right?
— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) September 6, 2018
Me: Yeah, why? Are there lots of pretty girls at your school?
Son: *sighs* No, mom. I'm going for the snacks.
If some preteen YouTube star could create a Clean Your Room Challenge or even a Put Your Clothes In the Hamper Challenge that would be awesome.
— Jessica Watson (@JessBWatson) August 3, 2018
There's suffering and then there's preteen girl can't find her hair straightener on school picture day suffering.
— The Dose of Reality (@TheDoseTweets) August 30, 2016
No horror compares to watching your pre-teen girl try on her first padded swimsuit.
— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) June 23, 2013
Age 13 on set of first movie "Tempest". I see this expression at least once a day in my 12 year old daughter. #tbt pic.twitter.com/uICfHgN65B
— Molly Ringwald (@MollyRingwald) May 19, 2016
12YO singing along the Christmas music radio station: "Now bring us some frickin' pudding, now bring us some frickin' pudding" (didn't correct her)
— Sarah Wine-Thyre 🇺🇸🏳️🌈 (@SarahThyre) December 7, 2017
I am ready my 12 year old to have a phone, mainly so that I don’t have to yell upstairs for her.
— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) October 5, 2017