In a recent interview with British Vogue, actor Bella Ramsey said they received a “freeing” autism diagnosis after comments from their The Last Of Us coworker.
Telling the publication they had always felt like a “loner” and a “weirdo”, the star said a crew member on the show “assumed” they had the condition, which led them to look further into it.
Vogue wrote that Bella’s autism led them to “painful hyperawareness of other people’s micro-expressions and body language,” a common sign of autism.
Given that autism is still under-diagnosed, and especially so among women, HuffPost UK spoke to Dr Mikki Lee Elembaby Psy.D, a psychologist from Clarity Therapy NYC who specialises in autism assessment and diagnosis, about some signs of autism among undiagnosed adults that may show up in their relationships.
“There are definitely some signs to look for if you suspect that you or someone you love is autistic”
The psychologist said that while not all people with autism will behave the same way, there are some relational traits she sees a lot among her autistic clients.
“Firstly, you may notice some social patterns, such as a history of feeling like an ‘outsider’ (similar to Bella Ramsey) due to not fitting in, difficulty maintaining friendships despite wanting connection, and generally feeling like everyone else seems to just ‘get’ things and you don’t,” she told HuffPost UK.
“Socially, you might find it hard to develop or maintain friendships outside of a structured environment, such as school or hobbies.”
Additionally, she says, autistic people can sometimes struggle with open-ended and unstructured conversations and questions, like answering, “How are you?”
Interpreting language very literally and struggling with non-verbal social cues can also be a sign.
“In addition, you may feel exhausted or drained after social interactions,” she ended.
“This exhaustion can also be partly due to masking behaviours, which refer to consciously or unconsciously mimicking neurotypical social behaviours to ‘fit in.’
“An example of masking is forcing eye contact during conversation despite feeling uncomfortable or rehearsing social scripts for common social situations.”
Ask yourself three questions if you suspect you might be autistic
“Many autistic individuals have deep and meaningful friendships and romantic partnerships,” Dr Elembaby said.
“However, challenges with understanding social norms and cues can lead to potential misunderstandings or misinterpretations.”
Three questions those who think they might be autistic could ask themselves are:
- Do you feel like you have to “perform” in social situations?
- Do you feel exhausted or drained when it comes to maintaining relationships?
- Have you been told you come off as too direct, blunt, or insensitive?
Saying “yes” to any or all of those is far from a diagnosis, of course.
But if you think you might be autistic and want to look into it further with professional guidance, they can be a good starting point.