When you have guests over, it’s expected they’ll behave themselves. Unfortunately, in some cases, that just doesn’t happen.
Now, Redditors have dished the goss on the weirdest things guests have done in their homes. And while one of them is incredibly sweet, the rest are either weird or just plain gross.
The Chocolate Tree
“My family is very hospitable. It’s common practice for my parents to offer someone a place to crash for the night or two or more. My father had met this young German couple at a rally (in NYC) and offered them a place to sleep. They didn’t speak English much from what I can recall (I was in elementary school), but one day they asked my sister for some string and scissors; she didn’t think anything of it but did mention how secretive they were about why they needed it.
“They stayed only two or three days but on the last day they didn’t tell anyone they were leaving. They just left a small branch from a neighbourhood park and attached to the branch with pieces of string were all these chocolate bars like Twix, Snickers, etc. With a little sign that said ‘thank you’. To this day, my parents don’t know who they were or what they are up to now but us kids will always remember the nice guests who left us a chocolate tree.”
The Drumstick Thief
“One of my neighbours drank too much wine and threw up purple vomit all over the carpet. Then she fell asleep and the chicken drumsticks she stole and put in her pockets fell out beside her.”
- -inkd-
The Curtain Sniffer
“First time I had a buddy of mine over to play some video games he walked right past my parents and sniffed our curtains in front of them. [He then said] ‘Had beans for dinner did you?’
“He was right.”
- Nim0n
The Drop And Run
“My neighbour came over when we were in like Grade 6. I know that he spent a lot of time at his cottage in the summer and his parents were very careful with the whole ‘don’t flush if you don’t have to’ to not needlessly run water.
“So he’s over, goes to the bathroom. About two hours later, he leaves, and my mom comes up to me and says: ‘Look in the bathroom - PLEASE tell your friends to flush.’ There was this giant diarrhoea/lava mess in the toilet, mixed with some solids.”
- np89
The Dry Shave
“My friend and his ex GF (girlfriend) came over, his ex pulls out a razor and starts dry-shaving her legs in my living room, with my parents right across from her.”
- kwag91
The Bed Wetter
“Wet the bed and then just made the bed up like nothing happened. It was SOAKED, and wasn’t discovered until I flopped down on it. By the way, it was an adult guest.”
- Nyxtraza
The Bathroom Photographer
“One time my ex and I had an old high school friend stay the night. We weren’t super close with him, but he needed a place to stay and always seemed relatively normal. Anyway, he took a shower and was in there for like an hour. We were both wondering what the hell he was doing in there when a public pic of his boner through his boxers popped up on our Facebook feed with some raunchy tagline.
“He was literally taking photos of his bulge in our bathroom. Worst part is even though I don’t think he took a shower, he had the water running the whole time.”
The Towel Change
“Hosted a dinner party of about 10 with a bunch of couples. Went to use our bathroom to find a completely different set of towels and soap set up from what we put out before everyone arrived.
“After pulling my better half in to take a look, we thought it too weird/funny to bring up at the table.”
The Angry Pooper
“I was babysitting a girl who was 10 at the time and I’d been informed by her mom that she had some pretty deep anger issues. My daughter was around the same age, but had a camp to go to so she wasn’t able to be home to play with this girl. I told the girl she could go use the old desktop in my daughter’s room and play some games.
“About 10 minutes later I heard her run down the hall and slam the door to the bathroom. I stopped what I was doing and listened and heard her SCREAM, ‘CALL MY MOM RIGHT NOW, I WANT MY MOM!’
“Well, this girl’s mom was a nurse and wasn’t always easy to get hold of right away. I asked her through the door if she was ok and I was getting worried when she shouted, ‘I POOPED MY PANTS, OK!?’
“Turns out the girl had a sick stomach the whole night before and was trying to fart and instead ended up having a bad bout of diarrhoea all over my daughter’s computer chair, down the hall and in the bathroom. Obviously it wasn’t really something she could control, but I had to gather her heavily soiled clothes, rinse them out and then wash them and give her some of my underwear and shorts to wear (since she was kind of a heavy girl and wouldn’t have fit in my daughter’s clothes.) Her mom called me back about three hours later and just said, ‘Well that happens to her sometimes when she gets angry.’”
The Clinger
“Didnt. Fucking. Leave. Invited a friend over on a Friday night to hang out for a bit. He crashed, no big deal. My wife and I had plans the next day and instead of going home, he tagged along. Ended up crashing again. Stayed the whole damn day on Sunday and FINALLY LEFT at 10pm.”
The Hallway Defecator
“My younger sister’s asshole boyfriend visited from Florida and stayed with my parents (sister still lived at home). The first evening he got drunk, insulted all of us and in the middle of the night pooped in the hallway, which my mom stepped in on her way to the bathroom.
“The next morning, he blamed the cat, even though it was clearly human and which he reeked of because he never cleaned himself up. He got angry at us and caught a flight home a few hours later - still cursing the cat.
“My sister stayed with him for two years after that. Whenever something gross happens now, we say the cat did it.”
The Genital Artist
“A friend of mine, without any warning or anything, drew about 10-15 pictures of penises and left them in various places around my apartment during a party. I kept finding them for months afterwards.
“It became like a scavenger hunt for dick. One fell out of my boot in an airport bathroom one time. Almost a year later, I found the last one up above my top cabinets in the kitchen.”
The Blackout Incident
“A friend was over and too drunk to go home, so sleeps it off on my couch. I wake up to see her sitting on my coffee table with her pants around her ankles, urinating on the table and rug. And she is too drunk to wake up, just finishes and falls back asleep on the couch. So I clean it up.
“The next day she is a wreck and I say nothing. And several times since I’ve heard her claim that she has never been blackout drunk or done something she can’t remember.”
The Cup Swap
“Let an old friend who now lives overseas stay at our place while we were out of town, when we got home all of our coffee mugs were replaced with mugs he had printed his passport photo on. Hilarious. Different, but hilarious.”
The Dog Napkin
“While eating, a friend picked up my puppy, rubbed his mouth on the puppy’s belly and proclaimed he had a ‘dog napkin’. We were teenagers at the time, but it was still an extremely weird thing to do.”
The Toe Nail Clipper
“Grabbed the toe nail clippers from the bathroom and proceeded to clip his toe nails in the living room. Who the fuck does that at someone else’s house?”
The Turd Smasher
“I had friends in town from Chicago and one of them clogged my upstairs toilet. Instead of asking for a plunger or telling us (because it’s no big deal... it happens) he put his hand in it and smashed it all up.
“We were drinking later that night and he asked where the plunger was so we told him, he said ‘damn I wish I would have looked there’. That’s when we, of course, asked [what had happened]... When he told us I almost puked. I couldn’t believe it!”
- jhoe89