17 Terribly Weird Alcoholic Beverages You Should Know About

Touted as the world's hottest vodka, Naga Chilli Vodka claims to be 250,000 scovilles ~hot~. Per the maker's product description, it's "so horrendous we suggest you don’t even purchase it." 🔥

Take your favorite age-old recipe -- macaroni, milk, Velveeta -- add some rum and be sure to keep out of reach of children.

Smoking is bad for you. This vile shot, mixing Jägermeister with mayonnaise, can't be much better.

Traditionally a "health tonic" in Chinese and Korean cultures, baby mice are taken shortly after birth and dropped alive into a jug of rice wine and left to ferment. After the wine is imbibed, the mice are eaten. Yes, in real life.

This is a pickled egg soaked in Jäger, then placed in a glass, which is then filled with more Jäger. Think very carefully: Is a pickled egg ever an ingredient in anything you've willingly consumed? It's an important question.

Well, this gives a whole new meaning to "drinking the hard stuff." This cocktail, containing seal penis, deer penis and Cantonese dog penis, is believed to increase potency and virility in males, according to Foodbeast. Just make sure you chase this one down with a breath mint.

As if vodka needed a real edible Chinese-bred scorpion to sting the palate even more, you can use this vodka in a mixed drink or take it straight up. The eight-legged critter is said to "add a subtle woody taste." Yum.

It's not just a pizza with a beer. It's PIZZA BEER, like in your dreams. A Chicago brewery mixed together two consumer favorites to create this (prize winning?) epic combination.

This gin, raw egg yolk and salt and pepper concoction is an alternative to the Prairie Oyster (bourbon, Tabasco sauce and a raw egg), though they both sound awful.

50% beer, 50% milk -- 100% terrible. Two ingredients never meant to be mixed and a drink that should never be uttered.

Get yourself a live cobra, cut him open, remove his gallbladder and extract the sweet, sweet bile. Mix that with rice wine and serve to anyone who enjoys harnessing the power of cobra bile.

All you need is vodka, Tabasco sauce and a squeeze from a mayonnaise bottle. Though, really, "Squeeze from a mayonnaise bottle" is easily the worst five-word phrase in history.

Unless you're the Dude, a milk-based beverage probably isn't going to be your drink of choice most nights. Not so for the horsemen of central Asia. A traditional dairy drink (made of fermented mare's milk) that's been enjoyed for centuries, kumis has been compared to drinkable yogurt.

The name alone might make you pass out. Simply swirl vodka with a Bloody Mary mix and a spoonful of cottage cheese, and do your best to hold it down.

Are you up for a sip made of Yukon Gold whiskey and a MUMMIFIED HUMAN TOE? The Downtown Hotel in Dawson City, Yukon, has made a name for itself with this cocktail. To get the full experience, patrons are encouraged to let the toe touch their lips as they finish the morbid beverage.

What better way to stick it to the North Korean dictator than to throw the most American of food items into a blender -- precisely, 1 Big Mac, 1 McDonald's large fries, 1 McDonald's tangy BBQ sauce, 1 McDonald's milk shake (all flavors) and 1 McDonald's apple pie -- with vodka?!

Don't watch it being made and consumed.

This concoction is the artistic statement of James Gilpin and isn't sold in stores, sadly. Gilpin takes the urine of two elderly diabetic patients daily, extracts the high sugar content, then uses that sugar in the fermentation of whisky production.

Naturally.