Since first launching in 2006 with the OG Orange County franchise, The Real Housewives has become its own universe. With housewives not just across the US but in every corner of the globe, the show has provided reality TV fanatics with an endless supply of iconic moments, legendary quotes (“I’ve had enough of you, you beast” is my personal fav) and provided a glimpse into the inner circles of some of the world’s most glamorous women – whether they’re best friends or archenemies.
Next month, The Real Housewives empire continues to grow, with news series of the Beverly Hills, Miami and Potomac editions landing, joining the new seasons of New York, Orange County and Salt Lake City currently airing. To celebrate, I wanted to answer a question I’ve always pondered: what really makes a top-tier housewife?
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Conor Behan is a Dublin-based DJ, broadcaster and the host of HousewivesAndMe, a podcast which explores fans’ feelings towards the show and casts and has featured guests like Samantha Mumba. He says his obsession with the show began when he stumbled upon the New Jersey franchise in the late ’00s.
“I loved how it was this slice of American pop culture we didn’t always get in Ireland,” he says. “The beauty of the show format is that lots of different types of people can work, depending on the vibe and tone of the show they’re on.”
“I think one thing they need to have is openness,” he continues. “About their personal life, sure, but also their feelings and how they communicate those on the show.”
Conor has a point, because the best RH moments come when the housewives are being authentic and honest about their lives – no matter how messy they may seem. Without it, we wouldn’t have had emotional moments like Vicki learning about her mother’s passing on RHOC, or Kim fighting her addiction issues on RHOBH. But also, we wouldn’t get the drama or confrontation we crave when they confidently express their opinions, a trait which has made outspoken wives like Nene Leakes undisputable legends.
Conor says that a lack of self-awareness is also an essential trait. “Anyone that is too aware of the fact they’re being filmed is never going to really let loose on camera.” Housewives who have received criticism for self-producing their own storylines – aka playing the game a little too well – include Potomac’s Robyn Dixon, Salt Lake City’s Heather Gay and Beverly Hills’s Kyle Richards.
Samantha Bush is the woman behind @bravohistorian, a popular account she uses to share her opinions on everything Bravo (the television network that runs the show).
“It really started as something fun for me, to kind of yell into the void about my love for these women and the chaos that surrounds them,” she says. “Now I’m able to do what I love full time.”
Samantha agrees with Conor that honesty – and therefore vulnerability – are crucial attributes of an ultimate housewife. “Viewers are able to sniff out a phoney immediately,” she says.
“Someone who was a great addition and who felt like an OG right away was Shannon Beador. She came on the scene and immediately showed her flaws and the troubles she had in her marriage, but she was also fun to watch.”
Drama, dollar and drive
As well as openness and honesty, getting involved in drama – but to the right extent – is a recipe for success. “They don’t always need to start drama, but reacting to it, offering some kind of opinion or even intervening all make the show so compelling,” Conor says.
“I think there’s a balance for sure,” Samantha adds. “You definitely want to be involved in the drama, but you don’t want to come off like you’re fighting for the sake of fighting and manufacturing moments.” (We’re looking at you, Lisa Rinna.) “I think a lot of new housewives make the mistake of pandering to social media, trying to make themselves into a meme and befriending fan accounts to push their narrative,” she continues.
As well as popcorn-ready drama and meme-worthy moments, the show also offers a look at the lavish lifestyles and spending habits of the rich and famous – from a peak into the Hilton empire to the eye-watering mansions of Monique Samuels, Ramona Singer and Lisa Vanderpump.
But while money makes the show even more fascinating, it’s not necessarily the most important factor in the making of a top-tier housewife. “Yes, it can be fab when someone with a lavish lifestyle joins the show, but I don’t think you need to be uber-wealthy to be a great Real Housewife,” Conor explains.
“Sometimes the women who come on the show and strive to reach a certain lifestyle are just as compelling!”
Although her current reported net worth of $80 million is more than her former fellow housewives combined, RHONY OG Bethenny Frankel was memorably the least wealthy of her early castmates, and her flourishing success became entertaining to watch. In the latest season of RHOSLC, newcomer Monica Garcia is open about her relatable financial struggles as a single mum, and even cries when she admits to feeling pressured to buy a Louis Vuitton handbag to fit in with the other wives.
And the best example that money doesn’t maketh the housewife? Diana Jenkins joined the twelfth season of RHOBH with a staggering net worth of $300 million (the highest of any housewife ever) in 2021, but she proved unpopular with fans (and her fellow housewives) and was booted off the show after just one season.
Growth is important
Unlike one-season wonders like Jenkins, Katie Rost and Kim Fields, for the wives that do manage to stay on for multiple seasons, revealing different layers to their personalities and showing personal growth over time (sometimes even in one season) is essential.
“There are personalities who have weathered the storm really well, and I find those are the ones that become legendary over time,” Conor remarks, listing the likes of Karen Huger, Kenya Moore, Heather Dubrow and LuAnn De Lesseps as examples. Plus, if anything, we all love a comeback story. “I LOVE a redemption story on housewives,” Bush says, also listing De Lesseps as a perfect example.
“When she first joined the OG cast of RHONY, she was this etiquette-obsessed countess who viewers didn’t really vibe with… She seemed condescending and elitist. But then as the seasons progressed we got to know “Lu”. She really let her walls down, became vulnerable, and was so funny. Her story arc is one for the books.”
So, to answer the question, what really makes an ultimate Real Housewife? Essentially, honesty and authenticity are paramount, you need to strike the balance between being at the heart of drama sometimes and commenting on it from the sidelines at others, and you cannot make your wealth your entire personality. Not much, then!