For many newlyweds, the wedding night isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. The expectation is a glamorous evening full of endless champagne and awesome sex (hey, it’s possible!). The reality usually involves scarfing down some fast food and then passing out soon after.
We asked HuffPost readers how they actually spent their first night as a married couple. See what they had to say below:
1. “I laid on the floor of the living room with my wife and two of my bridesmaids eating Taco Bell tortilla chips before finally going to bed, getting up to puke from having so much to drink at the reception, coming back to bed and then passing the f**k out.” ― Katie H.
2. “My husband fell asleep, all clothes on, shoes too, about two minutes after we got into the room. And oh yeah, my mother was sharing a room with us. So I spent most of my night awake on my phone and Netflix because I had them snoring on each side. Even still, I wouldn’t have changed it for anything. ― Brittany S.
3. “There was a mouse in our mountain cabin. It had made a mess of the tidy and well-stocked honeymoon surprise accommodations. Every time my husband heard it scurry in the night, he’d hop out of bed to check the traps in the kitchen. He was out to get the rodent, not so much his bride! Thankfully, 28 years later we can laugh about it.” ― Kimberly B.
4. “My spouse and I spent the night playing Pokemon Go (it had just come out) and laughing with our friends until late in the evening. We then laid in bed for hours talking and laughing and just saying ‘I love you.’ It was the grossest, most affectionate thing I had done and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. We passed out slightly after midnight and couldn’t be bothered to have sex. We waited until the next day.” ― Fernando J.
5. “That night I slept in one bed with our 4.5-month-old baby because she was nursing still and my husband slept in the other bed at the motel.” ― Lisa N.
6. We went out to sing karaoke at a lesbian dive bar. We sang ‘A Whole New World’ in our wedding dresses. Went to our hotel, grabbed coffee in the lobby, and pored over all the well-wishes on social media before crashing.” ― Darek Y.
7. “I was so sweaty and gross from dancing the whole reception I told him I had to shower before we did anything. Then we had our fun. Around 2 a.m. I was starving (because no one ever lets the bride and groom eat, they’re all wanting pictures and to give their congratulations). So my husband and I went to Denny’s just down the street from our hotel, and we ate Grand Slams and watched a movie before crashing for good.” ― Heather B.
8. “We had dinner with our parents at our favorite restaurant, then came home to drink wine and watch the season finale of ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ (my husband correctly guessed the lip sync winners), followed immediately by watching ‘Starship Troopers.’ Oh, and then we played video games. Absolutely a perfect evening.” ― Nicole G.
9. “We went out dancing with friends and came home at 3 a.m. starving. Spent our night cuddling and eating room service mac & cheese and then passing out. Sexy time was saved for the morning once we had the energy.” ― Katrin B.
10. “We totally forgot to eat at our reception. My mom’s friend was kind enough to load us up with a plate full of wedding cake before we left. That night, we sat in the jacuzzi in our room and ate cake before we...well, you know.” ― Keeana P.
11. “We got married in a chapel on our college campus on a Wednesday evening, and afterwards we went to our dorm room and watched ‘The Princess Bride’ until we passed out. Had to go take a music theory exam the next morning!” ― Emma P.
12. “I got food poisoning from something at our wedding. My husband had an intense headache. We went to a hotel that was gifted to us for the night, missing our after party, and slept. Well, I didn’t sleep much because I was vomiting.” ― Felicia L.
13. “I vividly remember face-planting into the bed while my husband unbuttoned the back of my wedding gown for me since I couldn’t do it myself. After we had changed into some comfy clothes, we called my younger sister (one of my bridesmaids) to come hang out with us in our room. We ended up ordering pizza with her and gossiping about various things that happened earlier that day. It wasn’t a traditional wedding night, especially since we spent it with my sister, but my husband and I wouldn’t have it any other way! We were WAY too tired and sore to do anything else!” ― Annalis L.
14. “My husband helped me out of my dress and with all the bobby pins in my hair. We put on old pajamas, ate our cookies, split the bottle of champagne, and watched some episodes of ‘Frasier,’ and then got down to business.” ― Amber L.
15. “My husband and I forgot condoms, so we went into the drugstore, me still in my wedding dress, to buy some!” ― Joelle D.
16. “We were exhausted and sweaty from the long, hot day and hours of dancing so we took a soak in the giant tub. It took forever to fill with water so we sat in it while we waited. We opened our cards and read the notes from family and friends. Then we just sat talking about how happy and relaxed we were. Next thing I know, I wake up and the tub is full and spilling over into a hole near the top obviously there to prevent people like us from flooding the room. My husband and I had fallen asleep! We went to bed with my hair still up in a wet fancy bun and didn’t actually consummate the marriage until the next morning.” ― Erin M.
17. “He carried me over the threshold into our hotel room, then I started yelling at him to take off my dress because I had to pee so bad and had been holding it most of the day! I then made him close his eyes because I didn’t want him to see me in my extremely unsexy (yet functional) body shaper and Spanx.” ― Heather S.
18. “We drank champagne, ate the complimentary chocolates, and opened all of our cards and gifts while lounging in our bridal suite in our underwear. Then we passed out!” ― Staci Z.
19. “After the reception we Ubered to a hotel near LAX to spend four hours (only four hours) before shuttling to catch our flight. We removed the 9,000 bobby pins from my hair, then tried to sleep.” ― Annie S.
20. “I stayed at the hotel while my husband ran home to walk the dog ― it was hard enough getting a babysitter for our four month old, we couldn’t find a dog sitter. Then he came back, we took a nap, and ordered room service ― a cheeseburger at 2 a.m. No diapers or bottles: perfection.” ― Samantha L.
21. “We stopped at McDonald’s, drove to a family friend’s beautiful timeshare on the beach, then had a ton of sex. It was everything broke teenagers could ask for.” ― Sam G.
**Some responses have been lightly edited and condensed for clarity.