So Iheard you might be suffering a case of "mum guilt"...I've heard that it's a real thing and that mothers across the globe are affected by it on a daily basis.
Don't fear, you are not alone!
After asking questions and digging a little deeper - I think we have something more serious like a 'mum guilt epidemic' sweeping the globe and we need to find a solution now so that generations of mothers after us don't carry this same sense of guilt, self inflicted pressure or need to always put themselves last.
It's true, mothers are the worst for always finding reasons to put themselves last.
From the moment our tiny humans start to grow inside of us or we find out we are going to become a mother, our entire universe stops and suddenly everything revolves around this little person. It's both a blessing and a curse when the motherly instinct kicks in and all you want to do is love, provide and be the number one supporter of this tiny human.
HOWEVER at what point do you start to convince yourself that you are less important or no longer your own person and worse - that it's okay to think like that?? Or why do you start to feel that you don't deserve time out, to sit in a giant bath and reflect on the wins you had for the day, or that you can't put your feet up when everyone is in bed and Netflix and chill instead of doing another pile of washing?
Seriously, is it so bad if it waits another day?
I worry because as mothers we are leading by example.
We are the ones that they learn from and what it it means to love yourself, to care for your health - both mental and physical and when it is important to take time out and breathe.
I get it - sometimes you get so consumed with what you have to do every day to keep the house running, everyone fed, all bills paid, partner happy, clothes washed....that you begin to feel that there are absolutely no minutes left in the day to squeeze some "mum love" time in.
For me personally - I had my business long before I had my daughter. I love that by making sure I smash professional goals I am also teaching my daughter that anything is possible - you can have your cake and eat it too!
Now I'm not talking about jumping on a big jet plane and taking off to a secluded island with nothing but mojitos and sunshine only to return when the children are self sufficient.
I'm talking about the crucial moments throughout each and every day when you give yourself permission to breathe.
You need it, your brain craves it, your body loves it needs it AND most likely to your surprise...your kids and your partner deserve it. It's true...happy mum - happy family.
I get that you feel like you have to have all of your ducks in a row, things organised and be the epitome of a mother who is doing it all! BUT you actually really don't. There is no rule book that says you have to carry the weight of a household on your shoulders or that you are selfish if you do something that is important to you.
I feel like a lot of the "mum guilt" creeps in because we fear we will be judged by other mothers and I beg to differ... I think that's rubbish. If anything - taking a bit of time out for some 'mum love' could be the beacon of light that encourages other mothers to do it more often too. From my experience fellow mothers are the biggest cheerleaders for other mothers.
We get so wrapped up in day to day life that its easy to forget the bigger picture.
Life is here to be lived. Your little soul is watching, learning and starting to understand what it means to nourish themselves too. We teach our children that anything is possible, that they never have to settle, that you can do it all if they want to - so why don't we allow ourselves the time/space to do that too.
When they meet their first partner - we will tell them how important it is to still be themselves.... well do you do that?
Honestly - we prioritise what is essential in our day.
Prioritise yourself and don't just come up with a million and one reasons why you "just can't fit it in" - no-one on earth is that busy that they can't stop when they absolutely want to.
If you spent the five minutes it took to come up with your list of "why nots" - you could have had a cup of tea.
Each and every one of us on this planet will prioritise what we feel is most important....caring for yourself and in turn allowing yourself to become an even better mother - that should be the top of your agenda.
If you don't - you will burn out, you will skip past all of the exciting things happening in your daily life because you will be so focussed on getting all of your jobs done and being this idea of a perfect mum!
There is no such thing - you are not selfish, you are a mother, you are a woman, you are a lioness - let us hear you roar!!