With my upcoming nuptials around the corner, I'm fully anticipating on onslaught of questions having to do with procreating. Why is it that people always want to know the next step and can't simply live in the present one? Anyway, in order to decrease this inevitable line of questioning, I just wanted you all to know that I do not plan on birthing any of my own biological children. Before you get your panties in a twist, allow to explain why I don't want kids.
1.) I am a part-time parent to 3 beautiful, well-behaved, hilarious stepchildren whom I've known since they were practically babies because my fiancé and I have been together for over 6 years now. Though there are times when being a stepmom can be tough, most of the time, it's joyful, especially since I'm blessed with 3 awesome kids.
2.) Allow me to repeat: I am a PART-TIME parent. Do you understand how fricken amazing that is? I get to have my share of parenting, fulfill that need, then have a child-free house. This allows my fiancé and I to enjoy much appreciated alone time. Sexy time is virtually impossible with kids around.
3.) My fiancé travels about 3 out of the 4 weeks of the month for work. I would be raising our kid on my own essentially, and that just can't happen. Mentally and emotionally, I know my limits, and that would surpass them.
4.) Because of my fiancé's crazy travel schedule, our time with my stepkids, and all of the other familial and social obligations we have to attend to, we simply can't fit another kid into our lifestyle. We would have zero time for each other, and I refuse to let our relationship falter or crumble because I have some emotional, hormonal urge to put another person on this planet to feed, clothe, and pay for. My fiancé is my top priority, we cherish what we have, and I don't want it to change.
5.) I have worked in education for over 6 years, and I've met and worked with a lot of kids. Many of these kids were f*cking annoying, and I, quite frankly, don't want to get landed with one of the obnoxious ones. I will count my blessings with my sweet stepkids and move on, thank you very much.
6.) I have a nice hefty dose of Generalized Anxiety Disorder and OCD. I can not fathom the worry I would feel if I were fully responsible for another human being that I created. I'd most likely have a nervous breakdown. Also, I'm terrified I'd pass on my mood disorders to my poor kid. No way, Jose.
7.) Call me selfish if you wish, but I enjoy my freedom. Let me rephrase that, I NEED my freedom. I can't breathe if I feel trapped, and having to care for another life would require me to change my life entirely. I can't feel caged, and being a mom full-time would create parameters, rules, and requirements that I just wouldn't be able to abide by.
Now, I know a lot of you are going to say, "Oh, you'll change your mind. You're going to want your own child. Being a parent is the most amazing love you'll feel." I will not change my mind. There will be moments that I will have the maternal urge; I have experienced it already. There have been and will be moments that I feel envious of those who have that biological and genetic connection to their offspring, the connection that I'm missing. I realize this whole-heartedly, but with this knowledge, I have made my decision. I know what's best for me, for us, for the aforementioned reasons, so don't try to convince me otherwise. When I get the maternal itch, I'll just borrow your baby, and then give it back to you when it starts crying.
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