When it comes to having sex, we can sometimes be gripped by insecurity.
Three anxieties tend to cause this: we fear that our bodies aren't attractive enough, that we don't practice or know about certain positions, or that we tire too easily.
These anxieties reflect an underlying view that sex is predominantly an athletic or aerobic activity - and therefore to have a successful session, you must be able to flex and move your body in a certain way.
But this isn't the case.
Sex makes use of our bodies, but sexual pleasure comes from the mind, says the narrator in a new School Of Life video.
"Eroticism is about ideas, it's a skill of the mind," explains the narrator.
In other words, if you want to reverse the norms and dominate someone or submit to them, or even pretend to be someone else entirely, this all stems from your brain - not your body.
"The person who is good in bed isn't the one who knows how to articulate themselves rhythmically for extended periods, it's the person who encourages, endorses and legitimates our secret, lonely selves," says the narrator.
"At the same time, they are very aware of and honest about their own private wishes and enthusiasms. It's about a mutual nakedness of the mind."
