Given the ubiquity of dating apps these days, you might think people would have a better grasp on what it takes to craft a good profile.
Turns out that’s just not the case. There are certain missteps that pop up time and time again, many of which are not as desirable as the folks using them might think.
We asked women in our Facebook community what they notice in a dating app profile that immediately turns them off and has them swiping left. Here’s what they told us.
Responses have been lightly edited for clarity and length.
Being too vague in their ‘About Me’
“Very vague, basic details about himself, followed by, ‘Anything else, just ask.’ This immediately puts the emotional labour on the other party and I’m not starting a relationship on that foot.” — Jennifer L.
Or not filling out their profile at all
“When someone doesn’t even bother to fill out their ‘about me’ section. If they can’t take the time to ‘sell’ themselves, I can’t be bothered to give them the time of day either.” — Megan B.
Writing super-long, meandering answers to prompts
“Full-blown paragraph responses to prompts, which may be so detailed that it’s confusing or they don’t actually say anything of substance.” — Hillary S.
Listing their education as “School of Hard Knocks” or the “University of Life”
“And for workplaces, ‘nun ya business’ or ‘hard knocks’ means they’re hardheaded and want a maid or mother who will follow orders” — Colleen M.
Or claiming they’re “self-employed”
“When someone won’t list their occupation or says they are self-employed, 90% of the time they are jobless.” — Lisa C.
Referring to themself as “just a simple guy”
“To me, that means that the person has done no self-examination work.” — Susan A.
Saying they’re looking for “no drama”
“That’s the number one turnoff for me. Everyone has ‘drama’ in their lives, and this reeks of selfish narcissism. He might as well say, ‘I won’t be there for you if you ever have a problem.’” — Lynn P.
“My one thing is when they say ‘no drama’ because to me that screams, ‘No matter how badly I behave, if you object, you’re being dramatic.’” — Beth N.
Posting photos with other women
“Pics of them going out draped in multiple other women in a clearly not-just-pals-hanging-out way. They can and should be actual friends with other women because women are awesome friends. But I don’t need pics proving how great they are at pulling hotties.” — Sarah S.
Posting pics of themselves with exotic animals
“The main one that makes me question their intent is men who post a picture holding a snake. Are you trying to impress a woman or Crocodile Dundee?” —Kristee K.
Or hunting pictures, for that matter.
“Them posing with a dead animal or gun. Immediate no.” — Shenoa C.
“I was thankful so many men included photos that showed their true personality! I could quickly go by the shirtless gym rats, the guys with messy bathrooms or wearing camo while holding a dead animal or fish! It sped up the selection process!” — Debbie B.
Using too many group shots so you can’t figure out what they look like
“Group pics where you have no idea who is the owner of the profile. Spoiler alert: It’s never the one you think is the cutest.” — Felicity G.
“When there was not a single picture of them not in a big group of guys. I’m not going to play where’s Waldo and guess which one you are.” — Aundrea M.
Posting too many selfies
“No bathroom selfies where the guy is thumb-in-pants, pulling them down like a bad boy.” — Michelle T.
“Selfie pics in a mirror. Come on, guys, you don’t have one friend to help with this? Or know how to use the timer function on your phone?” — Soma G.
Even worse, selfies with a messy background
“If their only photos are four selfies taken in their bathroom mirror with dirty laundry spilling out of their hamper. Not sure what’s worse, the dirty clothes or the fact that they are 60+ years old with no photos of their life.” — Julie W.
If they’ve made drinking their entire personality
“Writing things like, ‘I want a woman who will look at me the way I look at beer.’ Or if they’re visibly drunk in pictures. If you don’t have a single sober picture, it’s a problem — bro culture, with a drink in every pic.” — Julia G.
Wearing sunglasses in every photo
“If the guy is wearing sunglasses in all of his photos, I swipe left. If I can’t see your eyes, you’re not getting my time.” — Irina K.
Focusing their profile on the negative
“What they don’t like, don’t want, aren’t attracted to, aren’t into, aren’t interested in. I like a more positive, open-minded profile.” — Danielle V.
“When they state everything they DON’T want in a woman. Big yikes. So pessimistic as a person, and probably bitter. Nothing I want to touch.” — Carina P.
Posting photos with other people’s kids
“Pictures of children that are not his. Sounds sweet, but it’s manipulative.” — Katrina C.
Sharing pictures of their own kids (without blocking their faces)
“Posting pictures of their children. Or children in general. This world is a scary place. Why would you put a child’s face on a public platform with people you know nothing about? If you love the child in those photos, you would never potentially expose them online to literal strangers. Just my opinion anyway.” — Ginny E.
“Kids in their profile picture. Just say you’re a dad. Stop involving your kids in your dating life before anything’s even serious.” — Candice R.
Making grammatical errors
“Lots of spelling or grammar mistakes or abbreviations. It’s just three letters to spell ‘you’ [rather than ‘u’].” — Kimberly E.
Using misogynistic language
“Any comments about women that are degrading or that seem like he would be controlling or sexist, like, ‘Wants a real woman for a real man for a traditional relationship.’” — Christina J.
“He uses the word ‘female’ to describe women.” — Julie M
“When their bio says something like ‘no snowflakes,’ ‘MAGA’ or anything sexist/anti-women.” — Audrey V.
Lying about their age
“I’ve read some profiles that explained, ‘I’m actually 10 years older but can’t change in my profile’ or ‘I am 20 years older but listed this age for search purposes.’ OK…” — Beth C.
Relying heavily on sexual innuendo
“Those who are crude and only want sex. They’re upfront about it.” — Carina P.
“Men who mention that they are a good kisser or innuendo about them being good in bed. Also, you don’t need to state that your love language is ‘physical touch.’ I feel like that’s a given for men.” — Lisa R.