AAAAAHHHHH Halloween is fast approaching and I am so super excited. I was bought up watching, reading and hearing all about horror and horror stories; so anything to do with spirits, ghosts and souls, excites me.
I never have really celebrated Halloween, I mean I have never gone out trick or treating, or even dressed up for that matter - the most I do is watch back to back horror movies in my night wear and eat snacks. Exciting right?
This year I've been fixing up on my SFX make up skills, getting my outfit ready, and figuring out what kind of ghost I wish to go as. As I sat down trying to work out how I will do my makeup, or the type of dress that I should wear, or where I lost my Jeffrey Campbell Spike boots, I realised that someone else is probably thinking the same about my appearance. How can I dress up as a bearded lady?
At first it excited me that people may be looking to copy my whole appearance, that they will want to dress up like me, to walk and talk like me for a day. I thought, 'yes, finally someone will talk or be me for a day, and realise the struggles that I go through on a daily basis.' It then dawned on me that no, people won't actually appreciate your trials or what you go through just to live as a bearded lady. People will dress up like you, and then will be applauded for the efforts that they have put into dressing up like you. I am ridiculed, and bullied for living and being a real bearded lady, whereas someone else will be cheered on for dressing up like one. I found this to be very unfair and it made me realise just how much this world enjoys the fake and ridicules those who are authentic. It's almost like doing a project and getting an F, and then someone else comes along and copies you, only for them to get an A.
I know I can't stop anyone from dressing up like a bearded lady, and neither can they even begin to imagine the depth of the atrocities that we go through; it takes more than a day and a fake beard to appreciate how much courage and strength it takes just to step out of the house looking different. This isn't just about dressing up as a bearded lady, it is also not right to dress up as a Native American, in black face or as a Japanese princess/Geisha, especially if you are not of that origin.
"Culture not Costume."
There is a difference and fine line between cultural appropriation and culture appreciation.
The struggle that we who are a minority or those who are different go through is unimaginable. Trust me when I say that you cannot even begin to understand or comprehend the issues that we face daily in society. Picking a costume has to come with some understanding of what or who you are dressing up as, it demands some degree of sensitivity. I understand that some may not even believe what they are doing is racist in any sort of way, shape or form, but one should understand that the history of who they are about to represent is full of blood, anguish, torture, discrimination and violence.
If you are to wear an outfit that is of another culture, will you then be open to having a discussion about your choice instead of dismissing it?
Us bearded ladies have been mocked, and teased for the way that we look even though this is how our bodies have naturally formed. So for someone to dress up as one, may create negative bias against us, and open doors for more foolery.
My face is mine, and it has taken me years to accept and love it, I can honestly say that no one can even imagine how much it takes for me to walk in society looking different. So before you desire to dress up as me for your own and others' entertainment, please try to recognise the trials that I face daily.
Thank you
-Harnaam Kaur.