For a man in his - gulp - mid-twenties, life gets... confusing.
No longer is it acceptable to lust after females too many years younger, it seems perverse. Torn between going out drinking until early the next morning and pulling on your slipper socks at 21.15 with a warm mug of cocoa to watch Downton Abbey. But perhaps the most troublesome, sleep-disturbing change in a young man's life is his hairline.
At 24, I shouldn't be losing hair. Some people the same age as my father have only just started to lose theirs; some Grandfathers can still muster up enough for a comb over. For some, baldness isn't a worry. It's hereditary they say, not an issue for them. Instead, these people find the occasional grey hair lurking amongst the thick shag of hair they still possess.
There are the rare exceptions who have kept a healthy hairline and find themselves the envy of every male exiting Superdrug with Just for Men bottles shamefully buried deep in their coat pockets. But sod them. Let's focus on the issue presenting the unluckier sub-cultures of male hair grooming: What's best - Bald or Grey?
When you look at the current crop of male heartthrobs, young and old, they maintain a pretty solid hairline. The beautiful flowing locks of the Johnny Depps, Brad Pitts, and the David Beckhams (no matter what you make of the latter's ridiculous facial hair these days) have solidified these men as pin-ups in every girl's bedroom. Well... at least about 5-10 years ago. Even so, the female species I have grown up with still find these men attractive, I think largely thanks to their volume of hair.
Hairless celebrities are fewer and farther in between on the sexometer (patent pending), and those who do feature tend to be cast as the rugged, manly figure. Vin Diesel (I'm not sure if he's attractive but he definitely can't act so he must be getting work somehow), Bruce Willis is still found attractive and Dwayne Johnson, a.k.a. The Rock of WWE, isn't growing much hair these days, but still a hit with the ladies. Thinking of a much longer list of good-looking baldies is a struggle, perhaps because going bald is more frowned on than going grey.
Wayne Rooney, one of the world's most famous footballers, famously had hair implants not so long ago, and this is someone you wouldn't generally regard has being overly image conscious. His teammate and senior, Ryan Giggs, sees no issue allowing the shade of his locks to adjust.
Other greying hunks get praised for being 'silver foxes' when their hair turns. George Clooney is an obvious one that springs to mind, Matt LeBlanc has also maintained his charm in the same way he's maintained his hairline, and Hugh Laurie has rejuvenated a career from being an older man with wisdomic hair colour.
I am writing from the perspective of one, slowly but surely entering the bald department. I still have a full head of hair, but my crown is undeniably thinner than it was years ago, especially as I was once a teen with thick, long, luscious hair down to my shoulders that women were jealous of. It may be that I see the grass as being greener on the other side, but honestly, I'd prefer to have any colour grass rather than none whatsoever. My only hope is that those who are going bald feel the opposite.