I'm a bisexual man - some people think that means I have double the options of your typical gay or straight person but actually the opposite is true. I describe being bisexual as being rich, if you had all the money in the world would you buy every item in the store? No, chances are you'd develop a taste for rare one of a kind items. That's being bisexual, yes you do have a lot of options but your 'type' becomes more specific and your standards impeccably high. Type wise I like masculine men and feminine women but I know all of that goes out the window if they are funny, humour gets me every time. Similarly, someone with a genuine good heart or weird little quirks are irresistible, I know my types but I'm always open to being impressed by the unexpected.
I'm now all happy in a relationship but back when I was dating I really enjoyed myself. I was going on dates up to three times a week, meeting new people, having a drink and seeing if we get on was fantastic fun. If it didn't work out that's fine, I'd have an interesting story to tell in the morning. However new research has found that Brits are pretty high strung when it comes to dating, a new poll of 2,000 people by e-cigarette pioneers blu as part of their new 'Six Weeks to Fall in Love' offer, found Brits Top 50 TURN-OFFS.
It's confirmed what I've felt for a long time - Brits' standards are way too high when it comes to dating. Now I can get on board with the top three - Body odour, bad temper and lying are all things that would put me off. But having tattoos, talking about babies/marriage on the first date or having rubbish taste in TV is just going too far.
Single people today have too high of a standard. As I recently asked one of my single friends, 'forget about what he can give you, what can you give him? What can someone expect from dating you?' - He couldn't give me an answer. I don't know where it's come from but in my experience, many singletons are waiting for someone to come along and fix them. As I said to him at the time, who goes in to a store and buys something broken? You have to impress them just as much as they impress you.
I think too much choice has spoilt us. A few months back at a house party where I actually met my current girlfriend, another lady I was talking too had a bit of a mental breakdown. She started screaming about her hate for dating apps like Tinder. 'If it weren't for Tinder I'd be married by now, but men these day can just keep swiping until they find someone blonder or with bigger boobs, it's so hard.' Despite her hysterical and drunken state, I do actually think she had a point. Technology has vastly expanded our options when it comes to finding a life partner, the question now is, has all this made our standards too high or are we just a bit more cut throat about finding ways to narrow down our vast options to one person? According to the research, over half would ditch someone who seemed otherwise perfect but had one glaring flaw.
I think that's crazy! Everyone has something and if you're not willing to accept someone's flaws how can you expect them to accept yours? When dating, I think you need to find the qualities that make you love a person in spite of their flaws. Personally I'm not looking for normal, or even the perfect relationship - I want a weird dysfunctional relationship that only the other person and I understand why it works so well. Nowadays everyone seems to be looking for perfect, the amount of times I hear someone say 'I liked her but . . . ' is ridiculous. If you seriously want to date someone you have to be willing to embrace all of them! Flaws and all, you can't nit-pick a person's characteristics.
As a bisexual man and a reformed serial dater I have a lot of experience in the field and whether you like men, women or both my advice is to be happy with yourself first. Don't go out there like some desperate incomplete person searching for your other half. Put yourself out there with no expectation of finding someone, just enjoy meeting people and having a nice evening. Wait for that unexpected interesting person who can enrich your life in ways you never though needed improving. And when you find it, it really won't matter that you have different tastes in TV shows.
Here's the complete top 50 turn-offs list, see how many you would let get in the way of your happiness:
1. Body odour
2. Bad temper
3. Lying
4. Being selfish
5. Bad breath (cigarettes)
6. Bad breath (unidentified food)
7. No sense of humour
8. Yellow teeth
9. Eats disgustingly
10. Having dirty clothes
11. Being rude to waiters
12. Had nothing in common
13. Dirty fingernails
14. Smoking
15. Smelly feet
16. Talking about exes too much
17. Being sexist
18. Bad fake tan
19. Being jealous
20. Being obsessed with money
21. Took too many selfies
22. Being cheap
23. Bad breath (coffee)
24. Can't handle alcohol
25. Referring to themselves in the third person
26. Someone who looks at themselves more than you
27. Dandruff
28. Talked about babies/marriage on the first date
29. Someone who doesn't make you a priority
30. Horrible perfume/aftershave
31. Had piercings
32. Being late
33. Annoying laugh
34. Being insecure
35. A nasal voice
36. Tattoos
37. Bad make-up
38. Friends didn't like them
39. Bad haircut
40. Bad fashion sense
41. Obviously checking out your body
42. No career ambition
43. Too much perfume/aftershave
44. Big nose
45. Had rubbish taste in music
46. Still living with parents
47. Bad shoes
48. Had rubbish taste in TV
49. Living with parents
50. Wore brace