So, you've got that big interview next week. It's pretty important as you can't really handle another day working at your cousin's meat-packing factory. The smell really starts to seep in after a while.
But how do you stand out from the crowd and get the job rather than having your CV discarded amongst the others like tissues under a teenager's bed? Here are some top tips:
1. Never turn up on time. Either get there an hour before or an hour after; that way they'll either think you're super-conscientious or a busy and important person. You'll carry through that confidence to the rest of the interview.
![](https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/5d011886240000300f85ae0a.gif?ops=scalefit_720_noupscale)
(Source: rishmadosani.tumblr.com)
2. Make sure you disagree with something the interviewer says. It shows you can think for yourself.
"Would you like a tea or coffee?"
"Shut your filthy mouth."
![](https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/5d0118872100003711e6cfb2.gif?ops=scalefit_720_noupscale)
3. Fart loudly and relentlessly. Employers love someone with a sense of humour.
![](https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/5d0118882100003711e6cfb4.gif?ops=scalefit_720_noupscale)
(source: perezhilton.tumblr.com)
4. If the interviewer asks whether you have questions for them, make sure to ask something that shows how deep you are like: "have you ever been in love?"
![](https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/5d0118882500004e12dc263c.gif?ops=scalefit_720_noupscale)
5. Get your friend to ring you during the interview and pretend it's a massive job offer from a rival firm. "100K? Thanks for your offer but I've got consider all my options first.... Yes, yes I know being governor of the Bank of England is a good position, and thanks for the offer, but I'm currently in an interview for a similar position with PC World."
![](https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/5d011888240000511785ae0c.gif?ops=scalefit_720_noupscale)
(Source: argif.tumblr.com)
6. 90% of communication is non-verbal. Make sure you use those other senses to the fullest. Power stance at all times and be sure to give some of your answers through the medium of interpretive dance.
![](https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/5d011889210000dc18e6cfb6.gif?ops=scalefit_720_noupscale)
(Source: www.cravetv.ca)
7. If all else fails, this technique will stand you in good stead: