Cats
"love when a dog has a stupid name. what do you mean this idiot answers to Typewriter"
"my dog would freak tf out if she knew she was made of bones"
"When I leave for more than four hours my cat gets so upset she throws up so sometimes I look at my boyfriend and I'm like do you even love me"
"when i say i got that dog in me i mean im insecure confused and really scared right now"
"it's really unfair that my dog and me can't sit down and share a cup of joe"
"Cancel my plans my cat just sat on me"
"my pug has 4 beds and takes medicine for his seasonal allergies just like his wolf ancestors"
"'You let your cat in your bed' I’d let my cat borrow my car."
“No matter how much my wife likes her Christmas gifts from me she will like the gift our dog ‘bought her’ more.”
“People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says ‘must be picked up, won’t walk’.”