tweets of the week
"If you’re not 12 hours early then are you even going to the movies, airport, party, or show with a dad?"
"Being the only butt wiper you child deems acceptable is both an honour and a curse."
"I’m just a mum, standing in the shower, praying her toddler doesn’t find her."
"Let’s join our hands together and pray for my husband who very tragically compared me to my mother."
"Going over to my best friend's house for dinner and asked if I could bring anything and she said 'yeah dinner.'"
"I just had to run my daughter a second bath because the first, and I quote, had a hair in it."
"Your toddler is sooooo cute! - People not cleaning up after him."
"My kids are the reason I breathe; they’re also the reason I swear, cry, yell, and eat waaay more carbs than I probably should."
"One good thing about having kids is when you screw up dinner, now you have more people to tell you."
"Sometimes I like to live dangerously by putting ketchup on my kid’s dinner plate without asking where they would like it first."