Meanwhile, at The Sun

There now follows some snippets from my new one-act play,. It features a journalist named Nick and his writing partner, Alex, as they attempt to keep up with the rolling snowball that is the news.

There now follows some snippets from my new one-act play, "Meanwhile, at The Sun". It features a journalist named Nick and his writing partner, Alex, as they attempt to keep up with the rolling snowball that is the news.

Disclaimer: any likeness to actions or persons living or dead is completely coincidental.

Scene: INT: The Sun office. HENRY walks in with a fully typed up document in a folder. He appears proud of his work. ALEX sits at his desk, smoking a cigarette

ALEX

So, Henry, word has come in that the latest England Manager has been announced. Any news on that?

HENRY

Yes! It appears that it's none other than Roy Hodgson.

ALEX

Excellent stuff. Excellent. Have you written up the article yet?

HENRY

Yup, it just needs a few touches. I've mentioned how he's 64-

ALEX

64? That's a bit of a shock.

HENRY

Well, not really. I mean, Sven-Goran Eriksson is 64 too, and he's still managing football clubs.

ALEX

Hmm, that's besides the point. Make sure you mention that him being 64 is shocking.

HENRY

Sure thing. Apart from that, it seems fine. All we need is a headline. I was thinking, "Hodgson Appointed as New England Manager".

ALEX

Well that's ridiculous. There's no pun there. Come on, we're The Sun. If there's no pun in the headline, we might as well be the bloody Guardian. What other headline ideas?

HENRY

How about "Come On My Hodgson!"

ALEX

...

HENRY

Because, you know, his name is Hodgson. And "Come On My Son" is a well-known phrase of congratulations in football.

ALEX

Hmm. Any other ideas?

HENRY

Uh, Football Craz-roy?

ALEX

No, no, no. That's terrible. Wait, I know! He has a speech impediment, right?

HENRY

... Right

ALEX

He's known as "Woy" amongst his friends, isn't he?

HENRY

I... I suppose so. But we're not really his frie-

ALEX

Well, how about "Wight! We Weally Should Pwactise Some Football! Weiterwates Woy"

HENRY

No.

ALEX

"Hawwy Wedknapp's Dweams Wuined!"

HENRY

No.

ALEX

"Bwing On The Euwos?"

HENRY

Genius.

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