Tomorrow morning, my son will join thousands of others across the country who are going to secondary school for the first time.
As I looked at all his class a few weeks ago when they had the Year 6 leaving assembly, they just didn't seem big enough.
How would they cope at such a big school? How would they find their way round? How would they manage to carry their bag?
I've been trying to get him organised over the holidays; make him be responsible for his own belongings, tidy up after himself - of course it hasn't worked, and I find myself wondering how he will cope.
I forget the fact that I went through exactly the same, my Mum tried to tell me exactly the same things and that actually, yes - I survived.
I can remember starting at my secondary school and being terrified. We went there with horror stories of being thrown in the pond on your birthday and of new pupils being bombarded with eggs and flour on the way home from school.
I can remember being "bagged" by the older girls between upper school and lower school; fighting my way through clouds of smoke in the toilets by the incinerator that was compulsory in the ladies but was never accessible for the gang of girls in the corner smoking.
I was in the choir and the orchestra at school - not the most trendy of hobbies but I enjoyed it..until we had to sing or play in assembly, and I would look at all the scary faces at the back and cringe - really wishing that I could be one of them and fit in with the crowd - but I never did.
I hung around with my friends from Guides and from the Church Youth Club. I helped with a local Brownie Pack and I went to church every week. At my school I was different and perhaps if I was at school now I might have ended up being bullied.
But luckily, there was a big gang of us "goodies" - and while we were together we just got on with our own thing and no-one bothered us. School was a very happy experience on the whole for me - and soon I will meet up with some old schoolfriends again as we have done over the years - comparing our diaries and laughing about times gone by.
I hope that Joe has this experience of school too. His Primary experience was very positive and he had a good group of friends - I hope this continues.
We wanted today to be a relaxing day, so my husband had the day off and they had a game of golf. I met them for lunch at the golf club and then we all went to the skatepark - another place Joe loves to spend time.
On the way back from the skate park , I saw an advertisement for the nursery which Joe went to as a baby when I was at work.
I can remember the first day I dropped him off - 20 weeks old. I gave the nursery nurse a long long list of things that she should and shouldn't do, how he would react and what I expected - like my son was the only baby she had ever held and she didn't do the same thing with ten different babies every day.
Then there was primary school - I was so sure that his trial day would go smoothly, but my husband took him as I prepared for my new job - he freaked out completely and knocked his new teacher over in the process! Not what I expected at all....so when I took him on his first day I didn't know what to expect. Andy had that day too - but he stayed in the car as I walked onto the playground and watched him line up in the Reception line with all the newbies. I tried to be brave - but I managed only until he had walked a few steps with the teacher, then ran off the playground in floods of tears, unable to cope with the fact that my baby was going to school.
And look at him now - off to secondary school. Lots of things have changed since he was five - we have moved house, we have moved jobs. When he was five my Mum and Dad came with me to pick him up on his first day - my Mum is now almost blind and Dad can't drive due to his Parkinson's Disease. Joe has grown up and is becoming a young man - he is a 2nd Dan black belt in kickboxing and he had his debut game for the County Golf team in the summer holidays - he has done a lot to make me proud he always makes me happy and I love him so much I can't describe it.
This is a whole new phase of his life. Over the next few years, he will grow and mature and decide what path he is taking in his life.
I will support him along his journey and encourage him to make the most of every opportunity and guide him to do things the right way, politely and honestly - while having lots of fun and making many new friends just as I did when I started all those years ago.
And what of me tomorrow morning? How will I feel?
I will do exactly as I did when I left him at nursery and left him on the primary school playground.
I will dress him in his uniform, take a photograph and put him in the car. I will take him to school, drop him at the gate - I cant POSSIBLY walk up to the door with him at secondary school - and then I will get back in my car , burst into floods of tears and go to work.
Another milestone passed.
Good luck Joe - I love you.