I enjoy a fish supper so I'm not very Rock and Roll. I like fish and I used the word supper. Paul McCartney was a member of the most famous band that has ever existed, a symbol of the most radical decade in modern history. He's Rock and Roll. But where is the line between me and the multi-millionaire knight of the realm, who will be performing for the matriarch of the Establishment, the Queen, distinguished?
This week M.I.A has caused controversy by raising her middle finger in an act of Rock and Roll defiance as she performed at one of the most commercially driven events on the planet, alongside serial adopter Madonna. Is she Rock and Roll? Perhaps the greatest Rock and Roll performance has been John Lydon's career. First he sucked in millions of gullible, disaffected followers who felt a collective belonging through his anarchic songs in The Sex Pistols only to make fools of them by fulfilling his true ambition by taking part in a reality show and selling butter. That's Rock and Roll.
Is Iggy Pop Rock and Roll because he doesn't wear a top or is it because he chose insurance?
Bill Hicks isn't Rock and Roll because although he said 'if anyone here is in marketing or advertising kill yourself...rid the world of your evil fucking presence' he didn't see the day when marketers no longer grouped everything on the planet according to its commercial value. Instead he died young, of cancer, standing by everything he believed in. Not a hint of doing the exact opposite of what he stood for. What a loser.
Thich Quang Duc isn't Rock and Roll because, despite his self-immolation as a means of protest against the persecution of Buddhists by the U.S. backed South Vietnamese Roman Catholic Government, he died and didn't make any money out of the eventual mass circulation of his picture including the cover of Rage Against The Machine's eponymous debut album. He's an idiot.
Kurt Cobain is Rock and Roll though because he had the forethought to know that the best way to combat fame and all the trappings that come with it is to kill yourself and elevate your status to that of mysticism and ensure you are one of the highest-earning dead celebrities.
I have always wanted to be Rock and Roll; that feeling of sticking two fingers up to those who try to bully, boss and belittle you. Now I know that Rock and Roll is hypocritical, I know it's something I can achieve. I can take inspiration from the career of Ben Elton and know that his stance on racism, misogyny, xenophobia and homophobia were all meaningless props that were traded to perpetuate his own career. Rock and Roll is where I can flash everyone with the promise of better things to come, only to reveal myself hung like a very cold six month boy.
Rock and Roll is selling out, it's hypocritical, and it's about going against everything that you said you believed in for the glamour of prestige and wealth. So things are looking up because we can all do that. We are all Rock and Roll stars.