hpw tweets
"female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder"
"Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up"
"Shazam but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me"
"what is so realistic about sex and the city is her friends never read her little articles"
"Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body."
"i loveeee topo chico because it’s like… what if water fought you when you tried to drink it"
"when people give me directions and they’re like 'you can’t miss it' i’m like, oh you do not know what i’m capable of"
"when kate moss said nothing tastes as good as skinny feels i take that with a grain of salt bc she was british"
"All this time I thought I was a good person but how I react to slow walkers in front of me would really suggest that I’m absolutely not a good person"
"i have the opposite of fomo like leave me out of all of your plans please."