Twitter

"Looks like it’s time to tell my son that I get a weekly report of what he googles."
If you're thinking back to March 2020, these might make you laugh ... or cry.
We’re officially being trolled by mother nature.
If ever there was a Monday to take off work, it's this one. See you down the local.
"Yes, autocorrect. By all means, let’s size the day."
"Could multiplication facts become popular on TikTok, that would be super helpful with homeschooling."
"Instead of telling my husband I'm annoyed with him, I'm just gonna put strawberries in a salad."
"The light at the end of the terrible two tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming train called the threenager."
"Just overheard the phrase, 'pregnant with a baby,' and secretly wondered what the other options were."
"This no longer serves me as positively as it serves me negatively, and I think that’s the right time to call something."