funny tweets
So much poo. So much vomit. So little sleep.
"My kids are giving all the people on this plane a hard lesson in birth control right now."
"Highly recommend teaching your 3-4 year olds about air quotes so you can have hilarious memories about them misusing air quotes."
"6yo daughter not overly impressed with #Coronation as it’s nothing like Elsa’s."
"Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop."
"The best part of starting a new job is all 4 of your grandparents are alive again."
"Lots of good memories from vacation, but probably my favourite was when my husband, who insisted on not packing a hat, admitted that he should’ve brought a hat."
"My first soft-play experience today. I’m quickly learning the rules. There are none."
"In my 20s: I need to do that. In my 30s: I should do that. In my 40s: I'm not doing that."
"8yo insisted she slept in a coffin at her sleepover. After a frenzied interrogation we finally landed on the right Google image. A cot. She forgot the word cot."