funny tweets

"Pro: My 9-year-old packed her own suitcase. Con: My 9-year-old packed her own suitcase."
"Sleep when the baby sleeps, scream when the baby screams."
“'So do you have any hobbies' yeah lately i’ve been really into worrying"
"Gave the 5yo a cuddle as he came into the kitchen – he said: 'I love you, Mummy, but get out of the way of the snacks'."
"I have a 10yo daughter so I know exactly what it's like to be stuck in a musical."
"'I’m almost at the end of my childhood and pretty soon I’ll be a teenager,' my 6yo, trying to ruin my day, apparently."
"My son just informed me that the Easter Bunny at school today had a human neck."