funny tweets
"My husband listens to me like he doesn’t realise there’s going to be a quiz later."
"My 5yo asked if I knew that 'butter has butt in it'"
"No greater bastion of parenting desperation than the Halloween costume aisle on October 31."
"My 2yo discovered pockets and is now competing with the squirrels to store more acorns before winter."
"My daughter is 'OMG! Why won't you let me live my life' years old."
"Did I get a piercing? No, it was my teething toddler that bit me in the middle of the night."
"My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older"
"We’re at that stage of marriage where I’m basically my husband‘s interpreter."
"I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called 'motherhood'."
"The most unrealistic thing I've ever seen in a movie is when an entire family sits down to eat breakfast together on a weekday."