funny tweets
"Some kids collect Pokémon cards. My kid collects lint. Dryer lint. On the bright side, it's very affordable."
"The cashier was flirting with my husband and I'm upset cuz I thought she was gonna give us free chips or something."
"My kids love playing pretend. My 9yo pretends to be a dinosaur and my 13yo pretends she doesn’t know us."
"I have ‘Olympic Fever’, but half the country denies it even exists."
Whether you're a chronic overpacker or always forget something, you're not alone.
"My husband woke up and started a new project and he could have just told me he wanted to fight."
"'This could’ve been an email' — me at my daughter’s recital."
Because we've all been there.
"Apologise for yelling at your mother. We don't yell at her, she yells at us."
"62% of parenting is improvisational theatre."