funny tweets

"Took off my bra and forgot what I was mad about."
If you're thinking back to March 2020, these might make you laugh ... or cry.
"My kid just saw me take some fries from my husband's plate. Time to find out if he's ride or die."
"Yes, autocorrect. By all means, let’s size the day."
"Could multiplication facts become popular on TikTok, that would be super helpful with homeschooling."
"Instead of telling my husband I'm annoyed with him, I'm just gonna put strawberries in a salad."
"Just overheard the phrase, 'pregnant with a baby,' and secretly wondered what the other options were."
"'Daddy, where do babies come from?' Me: 'New phone. Who dis?'"
Clubs could reopen on June 21 – and it's all people are talking about.
"If we’ve been in a lockdown talking stage, you owe me a Valentine's gift."