funny tweets

"Shoutout to everybody who already burped into their own face via mask."
"I’m at the watching Christmas movies stage of quarantine."
"My wife managed to open a jar of pickles herself and I am now nonessential."
"I said Alexa three times and she didn’t respond so she’s family now."
From an ingenious sausage dog to a raving priest.
The coronavirus pandemic is putting everything in perspective — including couples' wedding vows.
Thanks, as ever, to our Twitter comedians who – week in, week out – deliver the funny content.
From the kid who called the police on his dad to the boy who tapes dolls to the wall.
"Had to fake an injury to get out of doing some of these chores I’ve been telling my wife I would do as soon as I had the time."
Because we could all use a laugh right now.