funny tweets
"the first born daughter urge to lie to your parents about what you're doing even when you're a grown adult"
The Kansas City Chiefs tight end hilariously posted about squirrels, Chipotle and the moon — with rampant misspellings.
"Didn’t realise you could ruin a cat’s entire day by giving him the wrong brand of cat food."
"Just discovered that my 5yo thinks the lyrics are 'apple button jeans, boots with the brrr' and then he does a little shiver"
"Just discovered that my 5yo thinks the lyrics are 'apple button jeans, boots with the brrr' and then he does a little shiver."
"Ahhh dinnertime, the only time of the day the kids aren’t hungry."
"My husband lost his voice so I get to speak for him now and it’s amazing how many of our longest running arguments I’ve suddenly won."
"When my cat and I take a nap at the same time very close to each other that’s just parallel play 😌"
"no thoughts november. i will not be doing any more thinking"
"I see your baker’s dozen and raise you a mom’s dozen (11 because you ate one when the kids weren’t looking)"