funny tweets
"Please help, our 3yo has asked to be a butt for halloween. A butt."
"Reason #678 bedtime is taking too long: 2yo insists the only way to open her bedroom door is to use her eyebrows."
"i wish there was another word for it but there isn’t. the cat is doing parkour"
"After 3 days of being home with kids with the stomach bug, can’t wait to take them to school tomorrow so I can have a relaxing day of 16 back to back zoom meetings and 47 emails."
"My bf keeps saying i like being inside & doing nothing bc i was socialised by cats and omg he’s right."
"There are those who can’t relax when there are dishes in the sink and those who don’t even notice dishes in the sink and they marry each other."
"I’m not saying parenting is hard. I’m just saying I was a lot better at it before I had kids."
"a candle is just a pet fire"
"My son just informed me it’s illegal for 9 year olds to eat broccoli."
"My 3yo (who is extremely clean for a toddler) keeps crying at mealtimes because 'I don’t like watching the baby eat, she’s so messy' and honestly, same."