"My toddler insisted he had to take off all his clothes to go into the 'dressing' room. Solid logic, really."
"No one has more s**t on their to-do list than a kid who’s just been told it’s bedtime."
"I wish I loved anything as much as my husband loves asking me questions about movies he’s watching that I’ve never seen before."
The move would allow Twitter shareholders to buy more shares at a discount, diluting the billionaire's stake in the social media company.
The billionaire has bought the publicly-traded company for a whopping $44 billion.
"The sound you can hear is the sh*t hitting the fan."
“I am not ‘Russia state affiliated media’,” ex-Labour and Respect party MP complained.
From falling asleep on the loo at work to a happy surprise in Costa Coffee.
"Why are these current cabinet ministers too embarrassed to tell the truth?"
Nadhim Zahawi said the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge's trip was "fantastic".